It’s been a few days since Bent went to the vet. He was given a shot of Covenia as well as a week’s worth of appetite stimulants. Two days after the visit, Bentley showed great improvement. He was no longer just lying in a fetal position in his cat bed. Before, when I would try and pick him up, he was so tense and stiff that he felt like a cinder block and not a kitty.

We discussed the upcoming workers who will be repainting and re-shingling the house. The vet suggested I put all three of the cats on Xanex until the workers leave for the final time. I have agreed to that plan. Bentley is now back to his lovely self. He goes for his morning walk-abouts (just on our property before he will return back to the door of the enclosure, crying to get back inside. It’s nice to have him back.

A few days ago, one of my hazelnut trees that was closest to the powerlines was cut down. The reason is it posed a great danger. It seems that it couldn’t handle the extreme climate it has been exposed to in the last five years. Extreme drought, followed by torrential rains and Highwinds. Then followed with ice and snow and more rain. The tree was over 30 feet tall and there were several large branches which were hanging virtually in mid air not attached to anything. So the company came in and because of all the current rain we’ve had, they couldn’t get their truck close enough to the tree to use the bucket  They did everything from the ground. Extremely dangerous and risky but they knew what they were doing thank God and now the tree is gone. The noise of their chipper was driving my main enclosure cats crazy. There was nothing I could do to alleviate their distress. There was no place to put them where they wouldn’t hear all the noise and be subjected to the activity all around them.

Bentley has been in great distress ever since. I’ve kept a close eye on him and this morning he is extremely agitated. He is so out of character. He is moaning, he’s not crying he’s actually moaning. I know I need to get him in and get him looked at. I managed to open his mouth and look and it appears there’s something underneath his tongue? I’m not sure because his stomatitis has flared up big-time. I’m waiting for the vet to open to see if I can even get him in. I know that stomatitis flares up during certain times of the year. Generally in the winter but it also reacts to stress. His mouth smells putrid. I really hope he’s OK and it’s just the stomatitis and not something else going on.

I’ve been trying to get the yard ready for Spring. This winter we had a lot of loss of limbs on the trees here. Some of my trees despite all the recent rain are still so dry that I can bend them gently down to earth and they’ll just snap off. Our rain level is lower than it’s ever been and our snow pack hasn’t really happened yet. We aren’t as bad as California and their drought issues. But we are darn close.

This evening after I came in from working outdoors. I sat down in my chair and promptly fell asleep. There was a soft thump on my chest. I knew it was a kitty so I reached out to pet Magoo and the fur felt different. To my surprise, it wasn’t Magoo it was Ashley. This is the first time in the year that I’ve had her that she has actually jumped on my lap. Unlike her brother, who turns into a whirling dervish when he’s on my lap, Ashley just settled down and we both fell asleep. It was nothing short of amazing.

Yesterday morning, my doorbell rings, it’s a private delivery service with all these bags. I signed for the delivery and asked who sent it. The gentleman winked at me and said: I’m supposed to tell you the Easter Bunny!”

I received cat food (two bags of dry cat food) which I desperately needed. I was so happy, but in the other bags there were items that puzzled me. Soap, shampoo, paper plates… I quickly opened the door and ran out to my driveway. Thankfully, the driver was still here. I asked him if those items that he gave me were mine?  Yes he said it was all on the order. He said that he was told to give it to the lady who rescues cats. Then he drove away.

Around noon my doorbell rings again. There’s a second delivery, this time it’s food. Not cat food though, a full. Easter dinner (as if I was entertaining six people) Including dessert. So I am now staring at a half of sliced ham, along with 2 buckets: one containing homemade mashed potatoes, the other homemade gravy, smaller buckets of raw broccoli and sliced cooked apples. when I inquired who sent it, again I was told “the Easter Bunny.”

Today, I just finished making multiple batches of broccoli, cheese, and ham pasta casserole. I also made several different kinds of pasta salads and put them in the canning jars and into the freezer. I had a full ham dinner last night which I shared with my wonderful animals. They were surprised to see the ham on their plate as I was.

Even being a writer, I don’t think that I could adequately  express what that meant to me to receive such kindness especially right now.. I quite simply was blown away.

A few days ago Poe returned to his friends. He is limping slightly on his back left leg. I see no evidence of an abscess or a wound. He is very skinny. His appetite is ravenous and overall, whatever he went through he looks like he’s survived.

I am relieved to see him because we are in the middle of a winter storm warning supposed to deliver snow tomorrow and Wednesday. It’s just nice to see him back. I still don’t know where he vanished to? I had a friend go and check out around the underside of the house to see if she could see any tunnels or holes and she was not able to. So I guess it will remain a mystery.

I am currently truckless. My truck is very ill. It’s going to take a lot of mullah to get it fixed. I was told that I could only drive it to get groceries. Something about a VCT solenoid that controls the oil pressure, the driveshaft and the transmission is going out. No biggie, just a lot of money and it’s going to take quite some time for me to come up with the funds needed to get it fixed. But I will do it because it has to be done  I never thought growing up that I would be growing old living paycheck to paycheck but there you go.

We are down to one 16 pound bag of dry cat food and I will get paid next week. The canned food is no longer being offered even though we are in cold weather still, there are plenty of flies coming out of the cold  Thank God the yellow jacket invasion hasn’t arrived yet but it’s coming soon.

Ashley is trusting me only in small spurts. Mostly now she’ll visit at night when I’m in bed. I guess she thinks because I’m laying down I’m safe. But she will come up and spend about 20 minutes with me, she tries to smother my face which doesn’t make me very happy but I tolerate it because that’s how she is. It’s either how she shows her affection or she is a silent assassin wanting to cut off my airway. Silly kitty!

I was actually able to flea treat her two days ago without capturing her or taking her into the bathroom so she couldn’t escape. That is a definite plus in our journey together. She did not poop on me, or on the floor but she did jump in to the cat box immediately following the application of the flea stuff to do her business  Another milestone reached with her

We have another visitor here. This is a mackerel tabby that looks remarkably like Twigglesworth. This kitty is also hanging out at the creek. I have provided a protected shelter where the kitty can go to eat and not get wet or cold. Looks to be about the same age as Twigglesworth so possibly a littermate  Unlike Twigglesworth, this kitty is not friendly she’s very skittish. She’s also quite thin. If someone does own her they certainly are not taking good care of her.

In March 2016, the local Humane Society contacted me about a kitten who failed his initial test for acceptance into their adoption process. Their “test” consisted of several volunteers forming a circle and passing this 5 month old, scared to death kitten around like he was a Cracker Jack box. Well needless to say he didn’t like that idea. He bit one of the volunteers so he was put into quarantine which unfortunately is in an open area that’s also full of dogs and other cats. He was observed for two weeks. His sister, she also failed this test and she was put in the same situation as him. At the end of the 30 days that’s when we were called to come and get them. Both of them are deemed “feral” they have been here ever since  Poe’s sister is Twist

Poe has been missing now for a week  although not approachable by humans he has never gone astray. He and his sister hang out under the back porch, or under the back patio. I always see him in the mornings and at night when I go out to feed. Although he is now six years old he was the runt of the litter and he looks more like he’s six months old. The vet believes that early neglect has led to his stunted growth.

I noticed him a week ago, he was staggering a bit. He was walking alongside the house and when he turned the corner, he just vanished? They sealed up under my house so I don’t believe he’s under there but anything is possible when it comes to cats. Especially ones that have been wounded or injured or scared. I walk the line of the house yesterday with my flashlight in hand and a stick and I tried to find any sort of passageway where he could get under the house. The barrier is solid. The ground around it has not been disturbed so there’s no tunnels. He’s just gone?

I hate it when they disappear and you’re left wondering what happened to them? I know most times they go to ground and go to sleep. Either they wake up healthy or they don’t wake up at all. I will be on the lookout for predator activity out in the fields, crows, turkey buzzards, eagles and ospreys circling. That would be my first indication of where he might be. Otherwise I have to just sit here and wait and hope that when he does eventually emerge he will be healthy and okay

After the previous fiasco I experienced with Ashley when it came to simply grooming her and trying to remove mats. I was apprehensive this morning. She again has accumulated a fairly large amount of small mats on her beautiful fur. Recalling the last time that I was trying to groom her and the poop-fest that followed I was not anxious to have that repeated.

Moving the cat condo into the dining room turned out to be the best thing I could’ve done to get her adjusted to me. To let her experience me in the same room, yet not paying one bit of attention to her when I’m in there. It became frustrating at times, because she’s so beautiful. She is so friendly once she allows you to get your hands on her (It’s on her terms) she will tolerate petting. If you cross her trust barrier, she will swat at your hand. I did notice this morning that prior to moving her cat post when she swatted she had her claws out. This morning, she kept them sheathed

It was just so tempting to reach out and pick her up and cuddle her and love on her and let her know that she’s safe. But she’s not that type of cat that you can get away with that behavior so I just ignored her.

This morning it just felt like the right time. She was between my office and the bedroom with the entrance of the kitchen. I was able to shut the bedroom door without her noticing. When I came back to the dining room she was still sitting in the exact spot so I went ahead and I shut the kitchen door. Now she is trapped between my office and my bedroom

Years ago, I removed the frame  from my bed. This means that my mattress and box springs  sit directly on the floor. Repeated incidents over the years of kitties and cats hiding out underneath my bed with no way of getting to them other than scaring them half to death prompted this move. Now, they no longer have that safe cave. However, I have created other caves in my bedroom and in my office where they can go and feel safe but can still be captured.

I am typing this last part of my post with a smile on my face because this morning I was able to capture her safely. She immediately went rigid in my arms, but she didn’t bite me, she didn’t scratch me, and she didn’t growl. I carefully carried her into the bathroom and shut the door. Previously, I prepared a place on the counter to work with her. She was deposited on top of a very soft towel. All of my grooming tools were laid out nearby in the sink. I was able to remove all but two mats on her body. She did scratch me once, I let her jump down and decompress, before I again picked her up for a final comb!

All that has led to this moment melted away,  all that frustration, wondering if she will ever feel or respond as a normal cat?  Resisting the temptation constantly to reach out to her and pick her up. It just all left because it was all worth it.

She was not relaxed by any measure. She went immediately tense, her paws were wrapped around the top of the bathroom counter in a death grip. I had to block her with my body, all the while trying to keep her within my reach so that I could brush her. It was quite the dance. But we got it done. No poop flying everywhere. No butt bath to a traumatized scared-to-death kitty wondering what in the world her human just did to her . I put  Ash on the floor. I opened the bathroom door and before she left I was able to actually pet her back!

This experience left me with something I have been missing for about three years now. The joy I feel in rescuing. The joy in accepting a life that others have given up on. These two Burn Survivors  are amazing cats in their own right.The fact that once we erase our own human needs out of the picture, and look at life from their point-of-view, it all just starts to come together  If you know the previous history, and unfortunately with Ashley and Magoo we do, you have to put that into the equation, most of the time, this is the true leader of this dance between the two of you

The  leader of this dance  carries a label: PTSD  Hopefully, this is the beginning of a lot more steps to come  It’s such a joy when it all works out  in the end. When it all starts to go right. When the dance starts to finally come together

Right now the only thought in my head is prayers for the Ukrainian‘s.

But I wanted to let you know that Goblin’s friend got his neuter. He is now called Floyd and he is living the life of Riley with his new owner. They couldn’t be happier with him and he is safe and warm and living the life.

Now back to my prayers

I don’t know if any of you remember but when Goblin made his first appearance here on our property he wasn’t alone. The newcomer that arrived with him has been fairly elusive until now. Looking at the condition of this mackerel tabby I suspect that what drove him out of hiding was hunger and pain. Evidence on his paws and legs shows that he has had some sort of an asphalt encounter. Either he was thrown out of a car or dumped in the road and making his way to safety is when he was injured.

I finally  was able to capture him recently. After being dewormed and de-fleas he has put weight on him quite quickly. He is a Tomcat. He is scheduled for a neuter on the 17th of this month. I am not asking for assistance in helping to pay off my huge vet debt at this time. What I am asking is just the money to cover his neuter and his tests and his shots. We are looking at around $200. If anyone can send anything towards this end, this will just help to not adding new debt onto old.

He seems to favor canned food over dry so I am grateful that my pantry has canned food for now. Despite what he’s been through he has a very sweet nature. I am hoping to find him a wonderful home quite quickly.

Once he’s back up to normal weight I will put his photo online. Right now he’s not thrilled to have his picture taken and who can blame him? But he gets very loving when I have food in my hands. Lol

I was pleasantly awakened this morning by a long-haired gray and white kitty jumping on my bed. Ash burrowed under the covers next to my neck and face! Inwardly I froze because I knew if I made the wrong move towards her it could in badly for me. When she feels threatened she has no hesitation in striking out with her claws. My throat was covered with a blanket for which I was grateful.

Unable to talk because she was pressed against my face. I laid very still and waited to see what she would do. She finally moved off me a little bit and turned to look at me. I closed my eyes praying to God that she would not get scared and lash out.

I so wanted to touch her, stroke her and tell her I loved her. But instead, I just laid there trying to relax and take in the moment. When Magoo entered into the bedroom, she of course startled and flew off me. I was thankful for the blanket protecting my throat otherwise it could’ve been a little bit painful.

But it’s a start of the trust beginning to re-form between us  I know at this point if I take the reins and decide what to do next it could go sideways very quickly. So she is the leader in this case. I will take my cues from her. I have to add that I keep seeing her in a more relaxed state in the house. Generally she hides underneath my recliner. I had to disconnect my electric recliner and buy a footstool. Kitties hiding underneath recliners is not a good thing. They can become damaged, hurt even killed through the mechanisms for the electric chairs as well as the static chairs. In rescue we’ve had too many of these types of injuries arrive here over the years.

I will sit back and see what she does next. Hopefully I will continue to read her correctly and advance in our trust slowly. She is now my dance partner. The next steps are up to her.

Also apologies about my wish list. I’m dealing with a computer crash on my PC and I believe it’s all connected.