When it comes to working with Ashley, I have found through trial and error that ignoring her is really starting to pay off. This morning, I actually was able to walk up to her while she was on one of the ramps and flea-treat her. This in itself is quite extraordinary, she allowed me to do it. I simply had to gently scruff her to keep her in place, while I put the topical on her. She did not poop, she did not pee, she did not freak out. After it was over, she stayed where she was for a few minutes and then she decided to leave.

I still have the challenge of figuring out how to take all those mats out of her. But I look at it as one challenge at a time. I have also been able to pet her from time to time without issues. However, the minute that I think about even removing one of the mats, she just takes off for the hills. Slow and steady may win this race.

Thank God in heaven, I was able to capture her. She has lived a long life here, and I am sad that it is over. But I am so grateful that she didn’t fight or bite or claw. She was simply a limp rag in my arms as I put her in the carrier. When I think of how feisty she’s been in her life, how many times I’ve tried to get close to her, and been unable to. I am just grateful to God that I got her away from Crazy Eyes as well as this extreme weather that we are still experiencing.

I also wanted to add a later note: when I dropped off MK at the vet (because I couldn’t get an appointment) I was told that Kotas liver study came back perfectly normal. He has no liver damage! The problems stem from his allergies,  allergies can cause seizure-like behaviors. That was money-well-spent to learn that. I am sad to say goodbye to feisty Old Girl, however, I am so relieved to learn that Kota does not have liver damage

Recent developments in the last few weeks regarding Old Girl has clearly shown me that she is about ready to call it quits. For the last week she has allowed without interruption in the morning when I’m feeding, to let me pet her, without becoming aggressive. Although this thrills me that I am able to do this. I know deep in my heart. The only reason I’m able to, is because she’s ready to give up. That coupled with the fact that. Crazy-Eyes aka Grim Reaper is now buddy-buddy to her,  becoming almost inseparable. Is another clue that she is reaching the end of her life.

His method in the past, is to buddy up to a senior kitty, or a kitty in distress. At first, it looks like he’s offering comfort and companionship. However, this is just an allusion. His intent is to weaken the cat in question. He does this in several ways. He steals the food. I have seen him in the past knock over water bowls, he will also even though he’s neutered, and all my cats are spayed and neutered. He will also mate with the females, and he will fight the nails, the same way that they fight when it is kitten season, and the Toms are fighting for dominance over the females. This morning,  he stole her food. I chased him away and gave her some more wet food, standing over her so that she could eat it without him interfering.

I moved a top-end cat carrier into the back room of the shop where she sleeps and eats. Inside are all the tools necessary for me to capture her and get her safely into the carrier and into the vet. I wish I could say that I would be able to do that today, but I know better. She has to get used to seeing the carrier there with the top open, before I could make another move on her. I am hoping by Monday I will be able to do this peacefully. Just pick her up and put her in the carrier and take her in.

That’s the plan, but when you work with feral cats, plans can go awry. So we will just have to see. It’s almost an advantage to not even plan ahead of time, it’s likely to be accomplished quicker if I don’t think about it and I just do it. Because if I go out there and I’m poised to actually capture her, she will be in tune with that no matter how bad she feels, and she will bolt.

Yesterday, Kota spent the day at the clinic. He had his tests, the bloodwork will not be back until Monday. He did not have one seizure type activity the entire day. This led my vet to tell me that he believes what is wrong with Kota is allergies. I know that I have a dog that seems to be allergic to the world, I also know that allergies in dogs can cause seizures. So I hope he’s right. Come Monday when the results are in we will see what they reveal.

He was given a Cidapoint injection. This is given to highly allergic dogs, and it lasts for a month. My vet kept telling me that every time he looks at Kota’s face, all he saw was “long suffering.” I have to agree in the last few months. Kota has looked miserable. His coat is growing in all different directions as if it doesn’t remember how to grow properly. Since coming home, Kota has  just slept. No seizure type activity has shown up.(Knocking furiously on wood as I type that). He is not flat, he is just exhausted.

Monday will be the target date when we find out what the bloodwork reveals or what it does not. I will hope and pray that there is no true liver damage, no liver shunt, or any other cellular damage to his liver. I also want to add that this morning Kota’s coat looks a lot better than it did yesterday. Right now he’s curled up on his couch and he’s asleep but he is responsive.Fingers crossed, prayers, flying that this is indeed, just allergies. Allergies can be managed, liver damage not so much. I just want to thank the person that sent cat food recently here. It was a great blessing to receive it. Please know we are grateful.

Kota’s seizures are getting worse. I had hoped the gabapentin would make a dent in it, and for a few days it did, but last night basically all hell broke loose. Initially, I contacted the clinic to find out how much the cost of the Bile Acid Assay test ran? I was told that it was $128, which since it would follow the day after payday, was doable. I scheduled a test for this Friday.

I just got a phone call with an apology that the new clerk did not factor in the bloodwork. So the entire cost of the test would be $258 meaning an additional $130 ins needed in order to get this done. This test will confirm whether or not Kota has a liver shunt or some other type of cellular damage to the liver.

I do not want to increase the current vet debt that we owe. My goal was to pay for the whole test upfront. If anybody is so inclined to help me raise these funds, please follow your heart. I know he’s not a cat, but he is my soul. He has been my constant since Michael died, He saved my life twice.

What the vet really wanted to do was a full ultrasound which they don’t do in the clinic, they have a van come in and do the test. That test is $700 and that is way out of reach.

Last night was really rough on both of us. The vet is so puzzled because nothing that he has seen on the video or anything that I’ve explained to him fits anything that he’s ever encountered. so they’re going to keep Kota instead of just a few hours like the normal test would do. They’re going to keep him for the day and I will pick him up in the evening before they close.

I’m so sorry to ask this. I just want some sort of an answer as to what’s been going on with him for over a year now. I also want to make him better.

Thank you for listening,

With everything going on regarding Kota my brain is more than scrambled. I made an error and was wondering if somebody would be kind enough to send me $40 so that I don’t have to pay an additional NSF fee for my mistake. I was able to come up with most of the money needed to cover my mistake but I’m $40 short. The cat food is on its way here and I can’t stop the delivery. Thank you. I’m a bit overwhelmed at the moment.

Last week, I caved and gave Ashley her freedom. She is now joined in with the other kitties inside the cat enclosure. She decided after I had captured her up to remove the multiple mats on her, to stage a hunger strike. It was a 4 1/2 hour session. I was working on her terms, giving her rests between working on some pretty stubborn mats that she had.

I thought this approach would stop the constant pooping that she does, when she’s terrified. However, true to her form, she pooped the whole time. She pooped on me, on herself, on the floor, you name it. She pooped on it. I also dewormed her with Profender. There was one positive change though, she did not growl, hiss or strike out at me during the grooming session. I also managed to remove all the mats, and there were a lot. When I go in there now to visit, feed, or clean. She does not flee and hide, but she keeps a wary eye on where I’m at at all times.For now, I am just ignoring her.

Kota’s seizures are changing. I took him in two days ago for a repeat bloodwork and films.They ran an x-ray of his entire spine as well as his head at my request. I was looking for some interruption in his spinal column, or perhaps a head injury that might explain these seizures. All it showed is he has the beginning of spondylosis, which could either mean he has the beginnings of arthritis or he has an inflammation somewhere.

His blood work was more concerning, his eosinophils were elevated. My vet told me that this could mean that he has allergies or parasites or he has an inflammation working somewhere. I know he doesn’t have parasites. I am pretty vigilant with my animals, making sure that fleas and worms stay away.

His liver enzymes were also elevated. His ALT, SLT are quite high. This could indicate several problems. He could have a liver shunt, he could have liver, cancer, or he could have a brain tumor. My vet told me that these levels indicate he has something toxic in his liver that is not being filtered out. We discussed his voracious eating of grass in the mornings, my vet wants me to purchase a basket muzzle and put it on him every time he goes outside, so that he does not eat grass. There is also a test to rule out a liver shunt. However, Kota would have to spend some time at the clinic. I can’t imagine what that would do to him because he absolutely goes off the rails if they take him away from me just to take blood and do films. God only knows what he would do if he had to stay there over 24 hours. Plus he tends to have seizures at night. The clinic doesn’t have someone who stays overnight with the animals. They just have someone coming in to check on them and then they go away. So I declined that test. We are going to start him on 300 mg of gabapentin in the hopes that it will slow down the seizures that are occurring and help him relax. He will have another repeat bloodwork in three weeks. If his liver enzymes are still elevated as high as they are or higher then I will consider the bio acid test.

Last night was pretty scary for both of us. Normally, he has a sense of when he’s going to have a seizure. When that happens, he refuses to come up on the bed with me to sleep. Instead, he opts for his couch in the living room. Last night after the vet visit, he came in and jumped on the bed and settled down. I was grateful, thinking that we were going to have a calm night and I would be able to get a full nights sleep. I was wrong. I was so exhausted I fell asleep right away. I slept through his seizure.

I was jolted awake when he went flat after the seizure was done. He went flat and fell right on me. 95 pounds fell solidly on my shoulders, my neck and my chest. He was deadweight, unresponsive, I could hardly breathe let alone talk I knew I had to get him off me. It had to be a big burst of adrenaline because I was panicked. I was gasping for air. I grabbed the bed post with one hand and just lurched my body up. When I did that he rolled off me. I turned on the light, and I just sat up with him all night until he came back to me, which was around 2 AM .

Right after that episode was when his seizures changed. They were coming fast and furious, one after another, but they were not lasting minutes only seconds. They were coming so rapidly, I couldn’t even keep track of when they started, and when they stopped. When his flat period finally hit, it hit him hard. He zonked out. He’s been sleeping most of the day. Sometimes when he wakes up he’s here with me in the here and now. Other times he wakes up in a trance-like state, staring at something on the wall that’s not there. I know that he’s not in pain when he has a seizure. But I know he’s scared and confused.

When he is awake, he comes to me and seeks attention. He tries to climb on my lap which I couldn’t allow today because I am still trying to recover from last night. I am so sore I can barely move. My arms will not lift past my waist without my body screaming. I do know tomorrow morning I am going to be a Technicolor nightmare!

All I can do is just hug his beautiful head and tell him that we are trying to figure this out and hopefully soon he will have relief. So the wheels on the bus continue going round and round in this crazy journey we are on.

I am still trying to wrap my head around what has happened recently regarding my beautiful boy. All this time of tests and speculations. The multiple diagnoses about what was going on with him have all accumulated into one thing. The final determination on what is wrong with my dog is epilepsy.

Kota has what is known as focal seizure epilepsy. This was a long time getting to this point of finding a diagnosis that made sense. Based on symptoms that were slowly forming over this past year, reinforced by videos, I submitted to my vet last week of his seizures. All of the signs and symptoms were slowly accumulating, and now they have manifested themselves into these vocal seizures.

The consensus right now from the vet is that for now, the seizures are (according to them) mild in nature. They are something to watch. I was asked to keep a log on when they occur, how long they last, also to record how many he has in one day. They do not currently want to put him on any anti-seizure drugs, pointing out to me that he could very well develop harsh side effects to the medication. They believe that at this time it would cause more harm than good.

My very first dog that my parents gave me when I was growing up was a cocker spaniel. I had been bothering my parents for years how much I wanted a dog. When I got home from summer camp (I was 14 years old) here was this beautiful black cocker spaniel puppy waiting for me in the car! We bonded instantly. Sam had epilepsy. His seizures were grand-mal. I was the only family member who would sit with him during his fits. They were horrible to watch. He was on medication for life. For me right now it’s hard to acquaint the fact that Kota also has epilepsy because Kota’s seizures are nothing close to what Sam suffered with.

So far the longest seizure he’s had was 10 minutes. Afterwards he just goes flat. He does not tremble, he doesn’t defecate, or pee all over himself like Sam did. His limbs don’t go rigid, he doesn’t flop on the floor, he doesn’t snap at the air. I don’t have to put a padded stick in his mouth so that he doesn’t bite his tongue. So in that respect, yes, these episodes are mild.

They begin with no pattern or warning. He will start to rapid pant, his eyes glaze over. He loses all recognition of where he is. He will not even respond to my presence, my voice. Drool will start to accumulate in his mouth. It will either drip steadily out the right side of his mouth, never his left side. He yawns repeatedly. if the seizures go longer than just a few seconds, then the drool will start pouring out of his mouth, down his chest, on his legs and onto the floor, or the blanket, or whatever he happens to be laying on at the time. The panting becomes so rapid I am unable to count the breaths.

Afterwards, he can go flat anywhere from two hours to 12 hours. He generally chooses his couch to crash on. He will not eat, or drink. He just sleeps, you can tell he is completely exhausted.

This journey to this discovery has caused great concern, fractured sleep, frayed nerves, along with mass confusion as to what in the world is going on with my dog? Now that I know, I have started him on 30 mg of CBD/melatonin right before he goes to bed. Although he has seizures during the day, he has them when I am asleep as well. After these seizures hit. He will prior to going flat, completely lick both sides of his body from neck to rump until he is wringing wet! It can take up to four towels to dry him off. Perhaps this is his way of getting rid of all of that drool that is suddenly cascading out of his mouth?

Ever since that initial dog attack, and all the health issues that followed. I have been keeping track with my own journal and my own charts. So the vets asking me to do this is really a moot point because it’s already been done. I think that, part of the reason it took so long to get to this diagnosis is I never thought that this was epilepsy? I was drawing on my own experience with Sam without realizing, and I know now because I’ve been doing the research, how many different ways epilepsy presents itself. I was told that if the seizures get worse, or longer or present different symptoms. I am to immediately call the vet and come in. So that’s the stasis we are in right now.

During the seizures, when his eyes glaze over, his mind travels to a place that I am not allowed to visit. No amount of coaxing or talking to him, putting food in front of him. Bringing in his kitty friend, rattling my car, keys, or saying, the magic words will bring him out of it. Just suddenly out of the blue he will raise his head up. He will jump off the couch, and he will be my bright-eyed and bushy-tailed dog once again. He acts like nothing has happened. I wish I could pretend nothing did.

here is an example of what happens when he goes flat. You can see by looking at his eyes that he has checked out temporarily.

Backing out of my driveway, I glanced over to Molly’s resting spot. All the daffodils I planted awhile ago are blooming. I planted them in a circle around where she lays. It was so wonderful to see this beautiful pop of yellow surrounding her grave. She would’ve loved that!

In memory of Molly:

Once again, I have reached a stumbling block with Ashley. I believe this setback occurred because last month she was so matted, I captured her up and put her in a carrier. We went inside, and I proceeded to remove every mat she had. Although Ashley looks strongly like a Maine Coon mix. I suspect that she has Persian in her because of how easily she mats. She gets these horrible mats at the base of her ears, and when I go to try to get them out gently with a seam ripper, she will bite me, growl, hiss, and show her claws.

Although I returned her quickly back to her established domain, she has not trusted me since. Yesterday I made a decision, and during a rare moment when God afforded me the opportunity, I scooped her up and put her inside the introduction cage. I will start working with her gradually. She will only tolerate mat removal for about 10 minutes max before she starts getting growly and hissy and very aggressive. I did manage to get her ear mats removed. I also checked her ears to see if perhaps she had ear mites and that’s why she was developing mats at that site. She does not have ear mites.

What she does have right now is a deep distrust of me, so over the next few weeks, months, however, long it takes, I will work slowly to try to reestablish my relationship with her so that she doesn’t feel the need to flee quickly every time I go out there.

Magoo on the other hand is doing great. He is out and about with the other cats,he sits on a ledge allows me to pet him whenever I want to or whenever he wants to be brushed he will come and give me a head bump.. that’s my cue to grab a brush, he  just loves it. I told him yesterday he needs to talk to his sister because she definitely does not like being brushed. Hopefully by the end of her quarantine, she will have a different reaction to being groomed. That is the plan anyway. Whether it evolves that way is really all up to her, as well as how I handle her aggression along the way. She ican be a formidable kitty.

I learned years ago, not to work with cats with PTSD or stray cats with feral tendencies with gloves..I found that it erodes the trust. They don’t get used to your smell, they come to fear the gloves and attack them. Right now I am feeding her canned food (tasty stuff that I normally don’t buy because nutritionally it’s not that great, but it is kitty crack. Once she loses the fear of my hands, I will gather up my courage, and I will start to pick her up, pet her, take note of the mats she has that I need to remove and make a plan.

Although Spring is showing on the pages of my calendar, when I look out the window, I don’t see the sun. We were just placed on another Winter Storm Warning yesterday! Snow is expected to fall by tonight. I know it’s crazy weather everywhere right now. I just really miss the sun right now.we are also supposed to get gusty winds tomorrow, I’m hoping we’ve had enough rain in the recent days to keep my trees rooted in the ground.

The good news about Ashley’s recent confinement is, she’s not screaming her head off in distress being inside the cage. This morning when I went in to feed, her brother, was sitting on the shelf near the cage, and she was on the top level next to him. They take comfort in each other. Magoo has turned out to be strikingly beautiful. His flames are getting deeper as he gets older. This summer I am going to have to put sunblock on his ears. Once the sun does return, it will raise the risk of him because of his light color, getting cancer from the UV rays. This risk also increases because that beautiful tree is no longer in the ground providing much-needed shade for the cats.

No, my cats are not uprising against me. They aren’t conspiring to take over the house because I don’t open cans of food fast enough for their liking. They’re not staging a walk out because their litter boxes aren’t clean enough. I’m talking about a new movie that’s out called The Jesus Revolution. This was a local event in the 60s and 70s which spread all over the world. It focuses on Pastor Chuck Smith, his church in Costs Mesa, CA ,Lonnie Frisbee, and Greg Laurie. This church was a very large part of my life back in the day.

We were known as Jesus freaks back then. I was volunteering at a Christian coffee shop in Stanton, California and weekly. We would pile into vans and head for the beach. We would have Greg Laurie’s tracks in our hands and we would pick up hitchhikers. I saw a lot of miracles, take place both within the church, as well as the Fire Escape, which was the name of the Christian coffee shop. The Bible studies, the afterglows, all the Maranatha music groups, it was such a blessed time. And now they’ve made a movie of it. I went to see it.

Thankfully, they didn’t get to political within the context of the movie. However, for me, the payoff came at the end of the movie when they showed the actual clips of the members gathered on the cliffs of Costa Mesa over Pirate Cove with mass baptisms. Clips of Chuck Smith during his sermons, his beautiful smile, just brought me right back to a time we need again as a nation.

I did hear afterward that there is a new Jesus revolution that is stirring up out of Texas? I heard it didn’t start inside of a church, but actually inside of Texas A&M and it’s spreading rapidly. I haven’t been able to substantiate the rumor but it’s certainly, God knows it’s something that we need right now.

On another note, we are still in winter. It has been snowing for several days, but not sticking. We are not getting hit as hard as other areas of the country, and this latest storm which hit last night is headed out to do its damage elsewhere. I hope winter is truly over but I have a feeling it’s not quite done with us yet.

Yesterday, because of the increasing frigid temperature, we ran out of canned cat food. But thankfully received a donation that night, so we were able to order the food which will be here in a few days. The wet food helps keep them hydrated during these cold temperatures.

here’s to a nice warm, spring, waiting around the corner!