I just wanted to clarify something regarding the letter I wrote to all of yesterday. I am hearing from old and dear friends this morning who are coming out of the woodwork. Keep coming please!

Thank you so much all of you,for your kind words and thoughts. First of all, I am not dying! If I gave that impression I do apologize. I don’t think God’s done with me yet. Second of all, you can still donate to your heart’s  content. The only thing is it is no longer tax-deductible..

I will still be blogging. Yes, I have health struggles right now, but honestly anyone my age  has those. All I will say is mine are a bit weird.

I have done this a very long time. Virtually my whole life. There are slides (remember those?) that I have stored in a drawer upstairs of me in my crib with these beautiful long-haired Maine Coon looking kitties surrounding me.

My father was instrumental in teaching me when I was a child how to deal with wounded creatures of all kinds. He would walk to work every morning. He was a mailman. He would find cats and kittens that needed help and bring them home. We would embrace every single one of them and they would  became a crucial part of our family. I give him a lot of credit for how I feel about these cats. That feeling I will never lose . I will still be rescuing, but only within my circle. By the way, my Mother hated cats!

When I made this decision. (I actually did it a few months ago and was talked out of it) But this time when I made my decision, I felt such a relief come over me. It was as if God had bathed me in a warm light. I can’t describe it. I didn’t expect it. Thinking on it later I realized that I am no longer obligated. I no longer have to listen to the tragic stories told to me by people desperate to “Get rid of their cats!” I won’t get calls from Police officers to meet them at hoarders homes because of the “feral” population.  Gone too will be the situations that I have encountered which create  my nightmares. Situations that I have never discussed with anybody because I simply can’t believe them myself, much less understand how these cats and kittens survived them! When I started CATS Inc., so many years ago- my single mission was to take those others had discarded. The ones who had no hope, the throwaways.

I just wrote to someone about this. I told him in essence that in the work that I do, I am often dragged into the darkness of humanity. That Darkness is very draining. Generally, the proof of that darkness is either sitting in my hand or in a carrier waiting to go to the vet.

Rescue can eat at your soul, the only way that I was able to sustain my soul was through God. I am not a church-goer any longer. But I am a believer. I believe that in all things Good triumphs over the Darkness in the end! It’s a faith I hang onto tightly, especially in these times.

Sometimes these kittens or cats didn’t make it. But I truly believe that their stories need to be told. My manuscript has been sitting on a shelf for five years. Yes, I am old-fashioned, I am writing it by hand. My last manuscript got wiped out when my computer crashed. That will never happen again.

It’s time to wipe the dust off of it and get back to it. It’s also time for me just to stop rescuing. That warmth, that feeling that came over me, when I finally reached this decision, came from God. I truly believe this, It sealed the deal.

To those who are asking me who are left here? We still have Bentley (my distemper survivor) Magoo, and Ashley the fire kitties. They are doing splendidly. Even Bentley’s stomatitis has been on the run ever since I started adding powdered deer antler into his meals.

We have PITA-my troublemaker (I didn’t name her after the bread.) I named her that after I got her I will add she is a real Pain In The A$$ at times. This is not her fault. This is something that happened to her when I surrendered her to the Humane Society to get her adopted. When I went to see her, I didn’t even recognize her. The loving kitty who was snuggling on my neck was now in the back of her cage, hissing and spitting and lunging at me. I took her back immediately.

Pigeon is still with us. His horrible injury that he suffered years ago, the scars have never gone away. But he is a loving boy getting a lot older. When I go in the cat enclosure in the morning, he’s on the high shelf. It has become customary for me to go underneath that shelf until he reaches down and grabs my neck with his paws, and settles on my chest to say good morning. He is my Maine coon lover.

We have Salem, Twist, Poe, Old Man who I believe won’t be here next year. He is 17 years old now. For a kitty who has lived outside his entire life, that’s  a pretty good age. In the house we have Aspen, her sister Laurel did not survive her abuse. We have Addie, she is a tortoiseshell and she is a constant concern for me. Her treatment before we got her is something I do not speak of.  I’ve had her now over a year and a half. I still cannot pick her up. If I try, she bites me and I end up in Urgent Care. Her PTSD behaviors are off the chart, sadly this makes her unadoptable.

Our three new arrivals are “Momma” who I saw this morning (even though I overslept.) She was waiting for me by the fence. We have Bartholomew, he is a beautiful long-haired tuxedo kitty. I put him probably around a year-and-a-half old. It’s so cute when he sees me with his food. He lets out one quick, small mew-thus his name.

The last newcomer I am trying to actively trap. He is a little black kitten and it’s weird because he’s got the same colorings of Crazy-Eyes, except this little guy isn’t cross-eyed. The reason I’m trying to trap him  is because his balls are bigger than his head! I kid you not. I have never seen such a tomcat in my life and I believe that there’s something wrong with him. He also walks funny. Although he’s young, he’s quite formable. He even went after Bentley the other night during feeding time. His Alpha tendencies are strong.

So that’s why I wrote that letter yesterday. I will still blog and I am beyond grateful for those of you who have hung in with me for so many years, or those who have found me and decided to check in once in a while and see what’s going on. Thank you old friends and new for reaching out to me this morning. You really made my day!  Amazingly, I even heard from someone who I know from The Cat Site- where I was a moderator and that’s going way back!

Please know that I love you all.  Please donate when and if you can, because we really still do need the help every single day.

God Bless You-

Dear Cat-Lovers and Friends,

Over all these years, I have shared my passion, my experiences, Rescue stories, and love on this blog. I have included tips, tricks, and hopefully helpful advice along the way to those of you in need. I have tried to de-mystify, the rumors around these glorious animals. I have proven time and time again that it doesn’t matter what age the “feral” cat may be, they can still be Socialized just never “Tamed.” They are their own spirit, and anyone who wishes to break that spirit should not be working with them. I don’t even refer to them as feral anymore. I called them. “Strays with feral tendencies.”

I have developed wonderful email friendships to so many people I’ve not yet met. I have had the joy of meeting some of you in real life. It has all been quite the journey.

My heart has been blessed with my rescues who have come into our sanctuaries over the years. Sharing their lives along with their stories, I had hoped I was making a difference in someone’s life in the world (or more importantly in the life of a cat) and at times I have received proof that I did. The stories were never easy to tell, the cats not so easy to work with at  first  (Cyclone-Hurricane Charlie-Guinevere-)  come to mind here, to name just a few. Some rescues have broke hearts (including mine) Others touched  the whole world-(Shell-Prowler-Hissy)

My decision in recent days to stop Rescue completely has not been an easy one. But I have decided that it is time.  I am letting my nonprofit status lapse this month. I need the extra money for Kota’s upcoming surgery, that coupled with the myriad of health issues I’ve been facing for the last few years,sealed the deal.

I am so grateful to all of you who’ve hung in with me over the years. Sending emails and texts of comfort and support,  sharing your own personal struggles with me, encouraging, inspiring me to keep on going. Opening your wallet and your heart to our mission here. I love you all.

When I made the final decision the other day, there was such a relief that washed over me. I will still be blogging. My rescues are still here and currently there are three new mouths to feed. Well, actually more than three because “Momma” Recently dropped her babies.

Gone are the days when I could deck-dive with flashlight and canned food in hand, searching for kittens I could hear but not see. Unfortunately too, gone are the days of kind neighbors allowing me to do so. I am still feeding any stray cat that comes on my property. We’ve had three show up in the last two weeks. Mama is a beautiful Siamese. She looks Purebred. Sadly, she presents with so many feral tendencies that I can’t even get close to her right now. I have her on a routine, she has started to show up before I do in order to get her food, cat milk, and other goodies. By the look of her belly, she is full of milk. I whisper her name when I go back in the bushes. I do not wish for my cats to know of her existence. Unfortunately, she chooses to stay in the front yard near the highway, which leads me to believe she’s been dumped. The noise of the traffic should at least drive her in the backyard, but she’s not having any of it. Plus, now she’s fiercely protective of her kittens so she doesn’t want to be around other cats. I am feeding her in the thick bush back by my fence as far away from the road as I can.

It’s going to start slamming rain here pretty soon, so I have put a table up and camouflaged it, hoping it cannot be seen by anyone walking on the highway . So far she’s pretty wary of what she considers a new trap. I did put a trap out for her when she was pregnant, but she had nothing to do with it. In fact she vanished until I put it away. I’m sure she thinks this new contraption , I put together is  just another way for me to trap her but I know  she’s feeding a lot of kittens.  (I assume) Her hunger will drive her under the table and she will realize that it’s not a monster waiting to eat her.

So my work does continue, just not in an official capacity anymore. Those of you who are still donating will get my final tax deduction letter along with my thanks and appreciation this year. But please know this- every time, I either received a PayPal alert, or a package at my door. YOU made a major difference that day. Not only in the lives of the rescues here, but in my personal life as well. It seemed that these donations arrived at a time when I was struggling to figure out how I was going to feed or get gas money in order to take one of our rescues to the vets. YOU will always have a space in my heart for helping me to continue to try to make a difference in the lives of these wonderful, often misunderstood cats.

Momma’s Feeding Post: