I am still trying to wrap my head around what has happened recently regarding my beautiful boy. All this time of tests and speculations. The multiple diagnoses about what was going on with him have all accumulated into one thing. The final determination on what is wrong with my dog is epilepsy.

Kota has what is known as focal seizure epilepsy. This was a long time getting to this point of finding a diagnosis that made sense. Based on symptoms that were slowly forming over this past year, reinforced by videos, I submitted to my vet last week of his seizures. All of the signs and symptoms were slowly accumulating, and now they have manifested themselves into these vocal seizures.

The consensus right now from the vet is that for now, the seizures are (according to them) mild in nature. They are something to watch. I was asked to keep a log on when they occur, how long they last, also to record how many he has in one day. They do not currently want to put him on any anti-seizure drugs, pointing out to me that he could very well develop harsh side effects to the medication. They believe that at this time it would cause more harm than good.

My very first dog that my parents gave me when I was growing up was a cocker spaniel. I had been bothering my parents for years how much I wanted a dog. When I got home from summer camp (I was 14 years old) here was this beautiful black cocker spaniel puppy waiting for me in the car! We bonded instantly. Sam had epilepsy. His seizures were grand-mal. I was the only family member who would sit with him during his fits. They were horrible to watch. He was on medication for life. For me right now it’s hard to acquaint the fact that Kota also has epilepsy because Kota’s seizures are nothing close to what Sam suffered with.

So far the longest seizure he’s had was 10 minutes. Afterwards he just goes flat. He does not tremble, he doesn’t defecate, or pee all over himself like Sam did. His limbs don’t go rigid, he doesn’t flop on the floor, he doesn’t snap at the air. I don’t have to put a padded stick in his mouth so that he doesn’t bite his tongue. So in that respect, yes, these episodes are mild.

They begin with no pattern or warning. He will start to rapid pant, his eyes glaze over. He loses all recognition of where he is. He will not even respond to my presence, my voice. Drool will start to accumulate in his mouth. It will either drip steadily out the right side of his mouth, never his left side. He yawns repeatedly. if the seizures go longer than just a few seconds, then the drool will start pouring out of his mouth, down his chest, on his legs and onto the floor, or the blanket, or whatever he happens to be laying on at the time. The panting becomes so rapid I am unable to count the breaths.

Afterwards, he can go flat anywhere from two hours to 12 hours. He generally chooses his couch to crash on. He will not eat, or drink. He just sleeps, you can tell he is completely exhausted.

This journey to this discovery has caused great concern, fractured sleep, frayed nerves, along with mass confusion as to what in the world is going on with my dog? Now that I know, I have started him on 30 mg of CBD/melatonin right before he goes to bed. Although he has seizures during the day, he has them when I am asleep as well. After these seizures hit. He will prior to going flat, completely lick both sides of his body from neck to rump until he is wringing wet! It can take up to four towels to dry him off. Perhaps this is his way of getting rid of all of that drool that is suddenly cascading out of his mouth?

Ever since that initial dog attack, and all the health issues that followed. I have been keeping track with my own journal and my own charts. So the vets asking me to do this is really a moot point because it’s already been done. I think that, part of the reason it took so long to get to this diagnosis is I never thought that this was epilepsy? I was drawing on my own experience with Sam without realizing, and I know now because I’ve been doing the research, how many different ways epilepsy presents itself. I was told that if the seizures get worse, or longer or present different symptoms. I am to immediately call the vet and come in. So that’s the stasis we are in right now.

During the seizures, when his eyes glaze over, his mind travels to a place that I am not allowed to visit. No amount of coaxing or talking to him, putting food in front of him. Bringing in his kitty friend, rattling my car, keys, or saying, the magic words will bring him out of it. Just suddenly out of the blue he will raise his head up. He will jump off the couch, and he will be my bright-eyed and bushy-tailed dog once again. He acts like nothing has happened. I wish I could pretend nothing did.

here is an example of what happens when he goes flat. You can see by looking at his eyes that he has checked out temporarily.

Backing out of my driveway, I glanced over to Molly’s resting spot. All the daffodils I planted awhile ago are blooming. I planted them in a circle around where she lays. It was so wonderful to see this beautiful pop of yellow surrounding her grave. She would’ve loved that!

In memory of Molly:

Once again, I have reached a stumbling block with Ashley. I believe this setback occurred because last month she was so matted, I captured her up and put her in a carrier. We went inside, and I proceeded to remove every mat she had. Although Ashley looks strongly like a Maine Coon mix. I suspect that she has Persian in her because of how easily she mats. She gets these horrible mats at the base of her ears, and when I go to try to get them out gently with a seam ripper, she will bite me, growl, hiss, and show her claws.

Although I returned her quickly back to her established domain, she has not trusted me since. Yesterday I made a decision, and during a rare moment when God afforded me the opportunity, I scooped her up and put her inside the introduction cage. I will start working with her gradually. She will only tolerate mat removal for about 10 minutes max before she starts getting growly and hissy and very aggressive. I did manage to get her ear mats removed. I also checked her ears to see if perhaps she had ear mites and that’s why she was developing mats at that site. She does not have ear mites.

What she does have right now is a deep distrust of me, so over the next few weeks, months, however, long it takes, I will work slowly to try to reestablish my relationship with her so that she doesn’t feel the need to flee quickly every time I go out there.

Magoo on the other hand is doing great. He is out and about with the other cats,he sits on a ledge allows me to pet him whenever I want to or whenever he wants to be brushed he will come and give me a head bump.. that’s my cue to grab a brush, he  just loves it. I told him yesterday he needs to talk to his sister because she definitely does not like being brushed. Hopefully by the end of her quarantine, she will have a different reaction to being groomed. That is the plan anyway. Whether it evolves that way is really all up to her, as well as how I handle her aggression along the way. She ican be a formidable kitty.

I learned years ago, not to work with cats with PTSD or stray cats with feral tendencies with gloves..I found that it erodes the trust. They don’t get used to your smell, they come to fear the gloves and attack them. Right now I am feeding her canned food (tasty stuff that I normally don’t buy because nutritionally it’s not that great, but it is kitty crack. Once she loses the fear of my hands, I will gather up my courage, and I will start to pick her up, pet her, take note of the mats she has that I need to remove and make a plan.

Although Spring is showing on the pages of my calendar, when I look out the window, I don’t see the sun. We were just placed on another Winter Storm Warning yesterday! Snow is expected to fall by tonight. I know it’s crazy weather everywhere right now. I just really miss the sun right now.we are also supposed to get gusty winds tomorrow, I’m hoping we’ve had enough rain in the recent days to keep my trees rooted in the ground.

The good news about Ashley’s recent confinement is, she’s not screaming her head off in distress being inside the cage. This morning when I went in to feed, her brother, was sitting on the shelf near the cage, and she was on the top level next to him. They take comfort in each other. Magoo has turned out to be strikingly beautiful. His flames are getting deeper as he gets older. This summer I am going to have to put sunblock on his ears. Once the sun does return, it will raise the risk of him because of his light color, getting cancer from the UV rays. This risk also increases because that beautiful tree is no longer in the ground providing much-needed shade for the cats.

No, my cats are not uprising against me. They aren’t conspiring to take over the house because I don’t open cans of food fast enough for their liking. They’re not staging a walk out because their litter boxes aren’t clean enough. I’m talking about a new movie that’s out called The Jesus Revolution. This was a local event in the 60s and 70s which spread all over the world. It focuses on Pastor Chuck Smith, his church in Costs Mesa, CA ,Lonnie Frisbee, and Greg Laurie. This church was a very large part of my life back in the day.

We were known as Jesus freaks back then. I was volunteering at a Christian coffee shop in Stanton, California and weekly. We would pile into vans and head for the beach. We would have Greg Laurie’s tracks in our hands and we would pick up hitchhikers. I saw a lot of miracles, take place both within the church, as well as the Fire Escape, which was the name of the Christian coffee shop. The Bible studies, the afterglows, all the Maranatha music groups, it was such a blessed time. And now they’ve made a movie of it. I went to see it.

Thankfully, they didn’t get to political within the context of the movie. However, for me, the payoff came at the end of the movie when they showed the actual clips of the members gathered on the cliffs of Costa Mesa over Pirate Cove with mass baptisms. Clips of Chuck Smith during his sermons, his beautiful smile, just brought me right back to a time we need again as a nation.

I did hear afterward that there is a new Jesus revolution that is stirring up out of Texas? I heard it didn’t start inside of a church, but actually inside of Texas A&M and it’s spreading rapidly. I haven’t been able to substantiate the rumor but it’s certainly, God knows it’s something that we need right now.

On another note, we are still in winter. It has been snowing for several days, but not sticking. We are not getting hit as hard as other areas of the country, and this latest storm which hit last night is headed out to do its damage elsewhere. I hope winter is truly over but I have a feeling it’s not quite done with us yet.

Yesterday, because of the increasing frigid temperature, we ran out of canned cat food. But thankfully received a donation that night, so we were able to order the food which will be here in a few days. The wet food helps keep them hydrated during these cold temperatures.

here’s to a nice warm, spring, waiting around the corner!