I have flunked Kitty Proofing 101. I very carefully kitty proofed the patio room so the kittens wouldn’t just be stuck in the bedroom and yet this morning, I go into the room and missing are Magoo and Ash. They were nowhere to be found. I knew they weren’t in the bedroom. The places they could escape to, had been well-sealed up. So they had to be in the patio but where?

Popping a couple of cans of cat food, I listened in the silence, but it was early morning and people were going about their day on the highway. I had to wait until the traffic lessened up (so much for everyone staying home) before I heard the tinniest of meows.

I followed the sounds and discovered both kittens had somehow found their way past the blocking of the washer and dryer. I am still trying to figure out how they got back there? But, there they were, stuck behind the washing machine.

The machine is heavy, moving it, I had to be careful. Both the kittens were perched on top of the two hoses coming out of the back of the machine. I didn’t want one falling and getting squished by the machine.

Finally I freed them. So that I could fix the mistake and re-kitty-proof that area, I put them in the bedroom and shut the door. I think what happened is they must have fallen off the top of the machine trying to go through the smallest of holes by the hoses and gotten stuck clinging to the hose.

Hopefully, I have fixed the problem and there won’t be a repeat performance but hey, they are kittens! I have appointments for them to get spayed the first one i could get was Jan 20th not soon enough, but at least I got them in.

Two years ago today, God called Michael for his final curtain call. “Exit Stage Left.” In true dramatic style, Michael took his last breath of life at the stroke of midnight. That was the day, the music died for me.

I miss you, Sweet Man. My Alaska Sourdough. I am so glad that we connected initially through letters,  where we became good friends. Phone calls would soon follow and as the Internet wasn’t available back then, we would resort to cassettes passed back and forth from California to Alaska. We went from good friends, to Best  Friends with God staying in the center all the while.

I will never forget landing in the Anchorage Airport for our first in-person meeting. No one was there to meet me as I deplaned. “Maybe,” I said to myself, “because this is Alaska, they do it differently here. Perhaps you have to go to baggage claim first?” So I went downstairs to baggage claim. The only thing there was my luggage.

Going back upstairs to the Gate, still no one to meet me left me feeling a bit confused. I had a 24 hour turn-around on my ticket (just in case something happened). I sat at the gate for about 20 minutes and then decided to just give it up and go back home. The joke was apparently on me.

Going down the airport corridor, I saw to the right of me, a line of airport phones. I stopped, picked up the receiver with the full intention of calling you and giving you an earful before I returned to my life. Just as I lifted the receiver to my ear, I heard this loud wolf whistle behind me. I turned, to see you and Dennis hustling as fast as you could towards me. I could barely make out your face behind the bouquet of red and white roses you had clutched to your chest.

You told me that they had given you the wrong instructions of where my plane was landing. You were upstairs at the last terminal, and I came in downstairs at the first terminal. Anchorage is a big airport and by the time you had arrived at the gate, I was already gone.

We hugged each other, Dennis grabbed my luggage and we were off on our first date (after saying goodbye to Dennis). We jumped into the motorhome with your bayrunner being towed behind. Our first stop, Hidden Lake for three days of camping, boating, fishing and hiking. Why didn’t the sun ever go down that day?

Sitting with you in the  middle of the lake in your boat, I listened patiently to your 45 minute lecture on how to bait, cast and catch fish. You told me that the Miller family had a long traditional bet when fishing. It was $1.00 for the first fish and $1.00 for the biggest fish. I took the bet.

You handed over your treasured and “seasoned” pole after first showing me how to cast. Did you not think that a girl from Southern California did not know how to fish?

First cast out, I caught a 16″ Rainbow! The look on your face was priceless! Wish I would have captured it on film. By the end of that Endless Day you had reeled in the biggest fish, so the bet was a draw.

That began the time where we fell further in love with not only each other, but also with Hidden Lake. Snuggling on the couch together, learning about each other and listening to the Loons haunted cries on the lake, we knew we would be returning to this place in the future.

It was a week to remember as you shared with me all your secret spots of Alaska that you loved. I met your three boys- Doug, Dave and Dennis and we both agreed that I should come back in the wintertime to see how I would cope living in complete darkness.

Little did I know at that time, what loomed ahead of us, that would test our relationship and later our marriage. A very deadly, silent killer disease:  Diabetes.

When Diabetes first hit, we were not prepared for the fight that would ultimately claim your life. You soon tired of the restricted diets you were placed on. i would catch you cheating when I cleaned out the truck and found multiple empty candy wrappers under your seat. I think the problem with Diabetes for you became the hardest part for you to accept. You did not feel or look sick back then. You were resistant to anything the doctors wanted you to do to get better. You wanted to live life on your terms, but the disease got the better of you. You hated the finger sticks, the shots in the belly three times a day. It took over our lives- and ultimately cost you, yours. They don’t call it “The Silent Killer” for nothing.

In 2019, honoring your last request, I asked the kids to spread your ashes on Hidden Lake. It was one of the last things you asked me for before you became caught up in two worlds- the world of the living and the world of the dead.

The kids almost didn’t make this happen because of a forest fire raging nearby. But Annette, determined as ever, tracked down a fire marshal and explained the situation. Your kids were then able to go into the lake, launch the boat and quickly disperse your ashes before they had to leave.

Michael, Y.S.P.C.B. misses you. I love you so much and I hope you can hear me when I talk to you at night. I miss your goofiness, your April Fool pranks, your corny jokes. I miss how you opened up car doors for me, and helped me on with my coat. You used to trap one of my arms in the sleeve of my coat as I was putting it on. It took me awhile to not fall for that trap. I miss your kindness and our conversations. I miss our daily prayers. We had a good life together. I will always be grateful to you for sharing your world and your family with me. I can’t wait to see you again.

It is not only coming from the weather, but it is also coming from a death threat I received. Did I actually write that and put it out there finally? Yes I did. I figure if this demented human being does go through with the plan and I suddenly go dark on this blog, I want people who have followed me for years to know that I did not abandon them willingly.

Sleep is hard to come by, the police have been notified and I have taken as many precautions as I am able to. I also alerted my neighbors because they could also be under this threat.

Did I fall off my couch and bonk my head so hard I saw stars and insanity? No, I did not. I did my civic duty and I voted and someone did not like who I voted for. They have reached out from my past to terrorize me. For about two days, they succeeded and then I just got angry. I got proactive and so I am putting it out there for those of you who have followed me either silently, or publicly for so long to let you know what is happening.

What makes this worse, is in 8 days, I approach a painful anniversary of the death of Mike. They know this, but it didn’t matter. We’ve been friends for years (no more though) but that apparently didn’t matter either. The police were going  to reach out to this individual and find out if they got hacked? Did they want to punk me? or did they mean what they sent? I was told if she cops to it, they will tell her that what is being planned is not only dangerous, but it is criminal. The officer said that if they had to on the day in question, they will park in my driveway and fill out paperwork. I feel like I have fallen down a rabbit hole into an alternate universe right at the moment. The world has gone freakin crazy in so many directions.

On the home front, we are still working with the kittens. Health-wise they are are doing great! They are fat, furry, playful with each other. It is just on the mental side that they suffer. Magoo’s ears are still being suckled, He is turn is suckling anything soft he can find. Ash is still terrified of my hands. The backscratcher/clicker method is working slowly on him. My hands look like shredded wheat at the moment, but he is learning albeit slowly, that the hands here at the house are good. We won’t talk about his reaction to the vet’s hands though!  That still needs work.

Their new mom has been by but the only one who even approached her, was Sundance. I can’t let him go right now either, he is peeing out of the litterbox. His preferences are: my pillow, my bed, my fresh laundry. I put a big rubber sheet (thank  you Mike) on the bed, so the pee and the stains don’t go through to the mattress. It may be that they will never leave here, but we are focused on just the opposite happening. It will just take time. They still will not sleep in a dark room without freaking out, so we burn a lot of night lights in the evening hours.

I will be sending out emails this week to all of you who have followed our work and sent donations in. I wish I could hug all of you and tell you how much it means to us, when we even get a dollar. Having to buy our cat food now, and factor in the vet payments is a struggle, but we will persevere. As one of my volunteers told me yesterday, we are the feral warriors! LOL

I wish all of you true Peace and Happiness this coming Season. I think at this point, Peace on Earth, although is sounds so wonderous is a bit of stretch. But God is known for His miracles and His love. If you are still following me and reading my sporadic entries, would you please pray for me? I am barely sleeping these days and my hair is so white at the moment based on everything going on. I love you all and I put this blog together years ago to help people deal with stray and feral cats. I tried not to stray from that goal, but life can and does get complicated. I hope I helped in some small way.

God Bless ALL of you- stay safe and stay sane!