When you have a cat, who has lived on the outside edge of your life for years. One, that comes to eat when food is offered, but when a hand is extended, either bolts or hisses or swats, you do worry. Outside life is not easy. Not even when food comes at regular times every day, shelter and warmth are provided along with fresh water and other felines for companions.

But when these strays are in trouble, all the effort you have made on their behalf pays off because they do trust you when they are in trouble. This morning, MK (Mystery Kitty) was in trouble. She has been here now about eight years I believe. Not one to be confined, she showed up in the middle of the night years ago and never left. She is along haired Persian mix- looks almost like Dash and they were great friends. Now her and Magoo seem to have forged a friendship and I often see them snuggled together in the yard.

4:00 a.m. I go out to feed and MK is crouched under the feeder. Normally, she would run the minute I walked over, but not this morning. Sensing something was not right, I bent down and taking a deep breath, scooped my hand under her belly to pick her up. No resistance! I felt under her belly for wounds, sponginess, anything amiss, she was fat, healthy and on fire. I took her inside 105.3- called the vet asked if he could meet me at his office in a half hour, he said yes.

Turns out, MK has been hit by a car. Bounced off a tire according to the vet, due to the swelling and tenderness on her hips and legs. When I explained that with this cat confinement would make her injure herself further, it was decided to just crank up the meds on her- antibiotics, painkillers, a steroid shot and take her back and just release her. So we did all of that flea-treated and de-wormed her, and I just put her back with Magoo (who was inside one of the large heated carriers outside.) There were no wounds, we were able to remove all her mats without finding anything nasty underneath- being part Persian she mats if you look at her sideways.

Through it all she was a trooper, and only once when her purring got really loud as I was working on removing a mat on her with a seam ripper- did I almost get nailed by a bite. Cats don’t just purr when they are happy, especially strays. The purr when they are in discomfort (this was a big mat) I’ve even had some who purr while the end of life juice is being introduced into their veins. I believe, they are responding to their primal instinct at these times, calling out to their mom for help. As the purr got louder, I looked up, saw the head starting to turn and the mouth opening, and I jumped back just in time.

But she’s home, no broken bones, no wounds, just a bad night with an encounter with a car. She is one of the lucky ones.

I went and saw Mike yesterday. They finally figured out the right antibiotic to give him and he looked so much better. He is still in a great deal of pain- they said they get him up every day but he can’t stand more than 30 seconds before he is begging them to go back to bed. His face was a normal shade of color and not gray and he knew who I was this time. We talked for awhile, he realizes he has to make some great changes if he wants to come home again. I hope that he can.

Woke up this morning at my typical time 4:00 a.m. to the sound of rain on the roof. With over twenty-seven forest fires now burning here in Oregon. the smell of smoke has been prevalent in the valley for weeks now. I just hope it is raining with a vengeance over those fires as well.

Cats are so intuitive- had some disturbing texts from Mike yesterday and so to say I am a bit shook up would be an understatement. He texted me that they located a hard mass in his abdomen- and that’s all he said. My heart racing, I called the nurse and spoke to her. She said that he has lymphedema which is a hardening of the fluid retention of the body in people that have complications with Diabetes or obesity. It can be handled medically- really nothing to worry about, but apparently Mike is obsessing over it thinking it is cancer.

I texted him back trying to ease his mind (didn’t work) Finally, I just shut the phone down and went to bed. The cats have been shadowing me ever since. Pidgeon has figured out if he leaps up on the bathroom door and jiggles the handle when the door is shut, he can come in and keep me company. He scared me when I got out of the shower! The door was open and he was sitting in the bathroom sink looking at me as if to say: “Mom are you okay?”

Even the outside kitties know, I am walking on edge right now. I was able to yesterday pet two of them- who have never invited contact before. Pretty amazing when you consider they are still “feral’ in nature. But they just know. I needed that contact.

Solo is still with us. I have turned down five homes for him and one would think with the issue of cat-juggling I have to do here now, to keep him with us and keep the rest of the cats safe, that I would just jump at the chance to put him anywhere. But his issues, his PTSD I firmly believe are not his fault, but the fault of his previous owners who messed him tremendously. He has to go to the right place, or he will stay here until that place is found. With winter approaching, I know the system here that I have come up with isn’t going to work. The indoor/outdoor kitties are not going to want to hang out in rain and thunderstorms during the day. And I have a feeling, this is going to be a brutal winter for us. So he will have to stay in the bedroom for the most part- unless a suitable home is found for him.

I keep trying to give him a chance, and let them all out to roam the house freely, but he keeps attacking the other cats. Even with pheromone collars, feliway diffusers, and calming powders- he’s an attack missile on a mission! He’s one of my toughest challenges in a long time which is so sad because he loves people. I have a new ad out for him, I hope  it works and someone who is truly qualified with a lot of patience will call and we will go from there.

Yesterday, and I will spare you the details of what happened when I went to see Mike, it is very clear to me that unless they can get a handle on this cellulitis infection that has suddenly claimed him. His life, as he once knew it will be over. It doesn’t take much for this disease to claim you. Even something as small as a scratch can introduce this into his system and because he is so immune compromised right now, he is a sitting duck for this mess.

I have Power of Attorney now. God was good, the attorney I chose to speak with, when he found that his fees were a bit high for me at the moment, chose to lower them considerably. He’s a really nice man- older, fairly compassionate. He did tell me that now having this “piece of paper to wave around to people who want to see it.” LOL It does not obligate me to pay off Mike’s debt.

I told him,  I already felt obligated since Mike is my husband. Even though I didn’t know about all the cards and the loans he had, doesn’t mean that I wasn’t going to pay it, because ultimately, they would start taking liens out on the house or taking legal action against Mike. He said I was a good wife! LOL I told him, he didn’t need to go there right now.

On all these cards, and loans I have no idea where the money went. And right now my husband is not in any shape to tell me.

At any rate, I do have one debt that is hanging over MY head. The most important and that is the one to do with these cats. My ever-present Vet Debt. Yesterday, with a the help of a dear friend, I wrote this up and am sharing it with you, asking you to please, if you feel the Spirit leading you, share it in your social media pages:

CATS Inc.,
taking in the lost, abandoned-
Providing Love, Comfort, Vet Care,
but only due to the: “Kindness of Strangers,”
such as Yourself.
The “Un-Savable” become “Saved.”
The Street Cat, becomes a Beloved Pet.
The Kittens with “No Chance” get a New Chance.
Thanks to the: “Kindness of Strangers.”
All Adoptions are Home-Checked,
Assuring that the adopted will be safe and loved.
ALL donations are tax-deductible.
Always Needed, Always Welcomed.
Donate through Paypal to catsatrisk@comcast.net
or contact Mary Anne at above email.
Now, ask yourself one question: “Are YOU a Kind Stranger?”

Thanks guys  and now I have to go. The cats know that something is up with me. Molly, Pidgeon and PITA are glued to my side when I get home. Kota is huggingly close for which I am grateful. God has blessed me with these animals and right now, they are the only glue holding me together.

Do me a favor and kiss your loved ones today and tell them you love them whether they have four feet or two-

He is so weak that he can’t even lift a glass of water to take a drink. They have him on heavy painkillers and the super-antibiotic. He is telling everyone who will listen he will be home in a week. I sadly, don’t see that happening. It would be wonderful, but it ain’t happening.

I look at this photo I took of him and see great sadness-

Mike at a better time with our old dog Reese

With all of this going on. All these events and thoughts keeping me awake at night, all the tears, the frustrations, the challenges, we still have 22 cats here needing care. Our vet bill is reducing but we still owe over a thousand dollars. I am not asking someone to pay it off. Just send us your loose change if you can. Anything will help to lower the vet debt. And we thank you. Our cats. they are important- no matter how “stray or feral” they might be!

First off, thank you for coming here and reading this, whether you comment or not. It really means the world to me. I am hoping in the coming days to be able to get back to the cats and only the cats. To share all my tips (not all at once) that I have either developed or heard about and applied with great success to their behavior, health or development. That’s the plan.

I am sorry, I have been so maudlin lately. Having pity parties and woe-is-me moments, because truth be told, Mike is the one in trouble. Not me. I suspect after talking to doctor earlier, quite extensively, that my first gut reaction when all this happened, is he is not coming home again.

They are keeping him for three days in the hospital, because during his fall (which he insists was a “slide”) he reinjured it. Just as I reinjured my hurt knee when I tried to catch him to stop the impact to the ground. I cannot walk this morning- period. Well put it this way, if I sit in my chair, I can’t get up without Kota’s help. Kota is now 90 pounds. Kind of wish I had collided with him instead of my 366 pound husband! LOL

After they get a handle on his re-infection they will be admitting him to a rehab center, or extended care facility- face it whatever they want to call it, they are still just nursing homes. Medicare will pay for 60 days and then anything over that to 120 days will be picked up by his supplemental insurances. Then (I am told) I will be called into a meeting with the heads and they will help me try to figure out where to go from there- where to put him next. But he will never come home. I feel that so deep in my gut that it hurts.

Yes, he is in a situation of his own making, by blowing off the severity of the disease and not taking control of his life that revolves around food. When Mike was a kid- if he did not clean his plate, he would be beaten. One time with a cord of firewood! Gee and I thought I had the evil family! If he sicked it up because he found in unappealing, he had to eat that too. I’m just trying to say that you can’t without a lot of therapy step into redirecting that type of programmed behavior around food. We see it with anorexics, bulimia. For him, leaving food on a plate was a punishable offense.

Funny story- we met originally through an ad he placed over 36 years ago, called The Singles Register. Way back before computers, cell phones back when 8 tracks and cassettes reigned. LOL

On my “Thank God You Are Divorced Party” My best friend Jeri had gone out and bought this paper. Which is quite strange because she was dyslexic and hated to read. But she read the whole thing and it was huge-lots of ads! She found one page where she highlighted five ads she “thought” I might answer.

She wrapped my gift in it (a coffee cup that said Newly Single) and scolded me when I opened it to not tear it! On my third Long Island Ice Tea, my friends challenged me to pick one ad. I chose his. Took me four months to get the courage to write him- plus I was busy with a new job in the corporate world and traveling throughout Southern and Northern California for my job.

When you answered an ad back then, you sent the letter to the newspaper and on the back of the envelope, you just put the code they assigned to it. They forward it to the individual.

Mike received 385 letters (the paper was nationwide) he and his kids went through them, picked four women to write to, I was number 2. Number one turned out to be a woman in Spokane who wanted to move to Alaska (where Mike lived) and live with him within a pack of wolves! My letter was a bit more tame.

We wrote and sent tapes for over 4 years. I flew twice to meet him in person, once in the summer then again in the winter- and I guess the rest is history. I am only 2 years older than his older boy so being a stepmom was hard for me. Besides they had a mom and she was and still is ever-present in all their lives.

Ok that is the back story and why I shared it is on my summer trip to meet him. We had just returned with the boat from Hidden Lake where I had caught my first King Salmon. I asked him when we got home if he was hungry? He said, no, I’ll just rustle up a snack.” Some of you might remember Tupperware and those BIG green bowls? He took one down from the cabinet. Put half a head of cabbage, 3 turnips, 6 carrots. 1 bunch of radishes and a handful of olives and asked me if I wanted any of it. I was so astonished, all I could do was say No thank you. He sat down on the couch and started to devour everything (except the bowl) I asked him what he was doing? He said he was having a snack. I told him that’s not a snack- that’s a chef salad for a party of 8!

Now he is paying the ultimate price for his life’s choices. And that price is much larger than he is right now. If it wasn’t for this blog, I believe I would have self-destructed already. Not even the most horrendous rescue I have been on has prepared me for all this sorrow I feel right now.

We will take it a day at a time and see what happens. Maybe he will have a come to Jesus moment. I don’t know. We used to pray every day together, now I pray alone and I pray for him the most.

So thanks for putting up with me and I promise I will get back to the cats just as soon as I find my center and my smile again.

I love you guys, all of you-

This morning, against my wishes. They discharged Mike from the hospital. To the end of the discharge time, I fought with them to PLEASE let my husband go to a nursing home until he is stronger! I was told the same thing repeatedly: “We asked him if he wants to go into a nursing home and he said NO, he wants to go home. We can’t force him to go.”

So I went to pick him up. I was so frustrated with him at that point, but I took him home and guess what? He fell! In the driveway getting out of the truck. I had to call 911 because I can’t pick him up. 4 paramedics arrived to do the job and they ended up having to use a harness type apparatus on him and then put him on a gurney. At my insistence, they loaded him into the truck because I wasn’t listening to his excuses. He was going back to the hospital.

Once there, he was so weak, he had to have help to get out of the truck and into the wheelchair and then unable to even get from the chair to the bed, they had to harness him to this chair lift and put him in. His blood pressure was high, his breathing erratic, his oxygen was barely registering, they put him on 02 and admitted him back to the hospital.

I knew this was going to happen and of course when I asked him on the way home why he told them he wouldn’t go to a nursing home, he said he never said that to them. He said he told them he would go. So I guess 9 professionals were just lying to me then?

He is still in the hospital, unable to keep much food down and says that now the pain has traveled and radiating into his hip. I will be with him for the majority of the day tomorrow- trying to connect with the doctors and learn more about what is going on.

I haven’t been able to go to see him as much as I would like- our funds are pretty messed up right now mostly due to him losing focus when he is paying bills. He kept telling me he was paying them, and I am sadly finding out that he hasn’t been doing that.

I cringe every time the phone rings and one creditor got quite an earful this morning when she called me at 5:00 a.m.! I flew out of bed expecting the worst and when I found it was a creditor- I friggin lost it.

As far as our finances, It is going to take me at least a week to unravel all this mess. I know now that I should have stepped in sooner to take control of the bills, but it was literally the last thing I thought he could still do. His life revolves around a small corner in the living room and his computer- and has for years now. I didn’t want to take away the last semblance of normalcy until I was sure it was necessary. Sad to say, it is necessary now

To his defense, it is not him. He excels in numbers or used to, but Diabetes takes it all- your whole entire body. Doesn’t care- takes no prisoners- brain, heart, lungs, kidneys- everything is open to becoming a hostage to this horrible disease..Just please keep him in your prayers. He called today and his voice was so weak, I couldn’t even hear him. 🙁

Do not enter Chessa’s enclosure wearing pajamas! I was so tired this morning that before first light, I just put my robe over my pj’s and went to put Kota outside and check on Chessa.  First part of the visit went quite well which surprised me, because this will be her first full confinement (for 10 days) while she finishes her meds. I actually picked her up and put her up on the table and gave her face rubs and ear rubs (first time for that!) While she was rolling her head and enjoying the attention and purring up a storm- I quickly snuck in the three drops of tobrymycin that she is on in each of her eyes. They are quite the mess. No reaction, I am thinking hip hip hooray! I finally got her to trust me!

I put her down on the floor and she turns around to give me an ankle rub and BAM nails me! Bites the back of my shin, scratches my shin and walks away as if to say- “that’ll teach you human!”  If I had my jeans on, it might not have done so much damage, but I am pretty flayed at the moment.

Came in the house, poured bleach on it- hurts like the devil, but the best thing to kill infection (according to an ER doctor of long ago). So I guess she showed me who is actually in charge of this sick bay detention. She is calico after all!

Mike had his ablation on Weds and the night of his procedure, he went south quick. I rushed him to the hospital and they admitted him into ICU as he was going into sepsis. He also had tested positive for MRSA. They moved him to the cardiac unit after realizing the pain in his leg was interfering with his heart. If I am repeating myself, I apologize. I am worn to the core.

He is texting me from the hospital and his texts make no sense. He is out of his head in pain. When I talk to him on the phone, he complains about all the stuff he now has to do- breathe through tubes, physical therapy, bland diet, it’s a never-ending circle of complaints and I just let it go because honestly, I think it might make him feel better.

I talked to the doctor this morning (the one who did the “routine Procedure”) and asked him why, he did the procedure when he knew the risk of infection might happen. He said that this type of reaction to this procedure is “extremely rare.” He said he didn’t become a surgeon to do harm to people and he is very sorry that they didn’t cover all their bases, but it was not done in a truly sterile environment ( surgical room) just at the office in a special room and they “take every precaution to keep the field sterile.” He said he thought the rewards warranted the risks as Mike has continued to have multiple infections, lesions, ulcers on this leg. He gave me his cell phone number and told me to call him anytime. It didn’t make me feel better about what Mike is having to endure and I got a bit of a feeling that he was trying to cover his ass- but it is what it is.

Then the doctor who is seeing Mike called and he said that Mike is still having a rough time keeping food down, he is weak and sometimes disoriented, sometimes combative and “it will be a long slow period of recovery before Michael returns to me.”

I have stayed away, letting the professionals do what they are paid to do. I don’t wish to see Mike this way, I want things to settle down, so we text and call each other.

In all this madness, Chessa who is our 17 year old calico girl had vanished from outside over six months ago. She came home last night and she is in a really bad way. She left weighing 16 pounds and came back weighing 9. I don’t know where she has been, she is injured on her rear legs and her third eyelid almost covers both her eyes. I dropped her at the vet this morning and am waiting to hear about her results. So I guess I am on phone duty when all I want to do is just call my best friend Mo and take a cruise! 🙂

I guess I must be tired. This is Mike’s leg after the procedure and to me it looks like a marijuana leaf in the middle of his leg where the steri-strips were placed! I know, I need sleep! LOL