Fiona has a mass in her stomach the size of a grapefruit. She is in exploratory surgery as I type. It is thought she has Visceral Mast Cell Tumor cancer. I was right, she did have a return of the cancer, but it went internal. IF it is only on her spleen, they will remove her spleen. Even if they see evidence of spots of the same cancer in other places, he will leave it alone. It gets pissed off easily if messed with. IF she is full of cancer, she will get a Bridge Pass. Her surgery, aftercare and such will not exceed $400.00. If you can help her out- thank you- it is desperately needed. I am sitting on pins and needles waiting for the vet to call me. He won’t put her down before speaking with me first. When she went to the vet on May 18th she weighed 9 pounds 10 ounces, she now weighs 3 pounds 2 ounces. He said he should have listened to my intuition at the initial visit- but it was her drop in weight that revealed this monster lurking inside of her. Please pray it is only involving the spleen. This Pitbull Warrior Princess shouldn’t have her Bridge Pass stamped quite yet.

At 1:45 this afternoon, Fiona presented her Bridge Stamp at the Rainbow Bridge Terminal and boarded the train to a better life. It was not Visceral MCT-it was severe intestinal lymphoma and it had invaded every orifice she had to offer. Surgically, there was no way to remove it at all and so we let her go.

As I laid her in the forest and covered her with flora and fauna, I thought back on the nine years she shared with us. This is a hard goodbye for us- so final, so sudden. Bless her for being here for bringing us so much joy, so much worry and so much laughter and comfort.

Fiona

Approximately three weeks ago? I took Fiona to the vet fearing her cancer had returned. My vet checked the strange lump on her ear but told me he didn’t “think” it was cancer. He thought it was an irritation from scratching way to much and gave me some ointment to soothe her. I went home with her elated that the squamous cell carcinoma hadn’t reared its ugly head (such nasty stuff). I put the ointment on her ear, not in her ear- she screamed and bolted for the cat enclosure and dug in deep into one of the cat carriers out there and never left. It was not like her. My warrior princess who challenged and won in a pitbull encounter loved our kitchen. We have large cat platforms and ramps going around the top of our kitchen and dining room and she would stay on those ramps and then come down to eat with all the others. She loved our pet fountain; custom-made by our friend Ebi in Florida and would play for hours with the water cascading out of the frog’s mouth. She would find me when the water was low and no longer cascading but spurting. Fiona would tug on my pant’s leg meowing that I immediately go in and fill it up, unclog the filter and give her HER pet fountain back. Funny calico girl. But those days of her goofiness were now gone.

She stayed dug in to the cat carrier for days and at first I attributed it to the stress of the vet visit. She had pooped and peed on the way to the vet and was carrying on in a fashion so not like her. She was eating (but not by much) and I would put fresh water near her daily and she would drink a bit. But she stayed put. Due to circumstances I will relay a bit later in this post, I put my concern for her on the back-burner and went about my day.

Yesterday, before heading to Washington with the girls, Fiona came out of the cat carrier for the first time, while I was in the enclosure feeding. I scooped her up and was horrified to discover, she weighs NOTHING! (She is 10 years old now she should weigh ten pounds or better). I could feel her spine and alarmed, I started stroking her to discover her entire belly had caved in on itself. There is one spot on her right side that carries immense heat. Her beautiful green eyes were still brilliant and wide, but it was clear to me that yes, the squamous cell had returned- but not to her ears. We just didn’t dig deep enough. She ate from my hand and went in and curled up inside the cat carrier. I couldn’t do anything for her that day because of the travel plans. Mike couldn’t take her to the vet and I didn’t want him to do that type of exit visit anyway they crush him. I whispered to her that she had to hang on just one more day and it would all be over soon. I called and made an appointment for this morning at 9:20. I am not a vet, but I have had dealings with this type of cancer before. It is aggressive, it spreads intensely and the treatment doesn’t work. My warrior princess will be going to the Bridge this morning and I am devastated.

I know that I get on this blog and put myself out there time and again. I try to give a true representation of what these cats face, what humans face to care to work with them, how to work with them, how to take ourselves out of the equation and give them what they need on their timeline, not ours. I do it to inspire others so hopefully they might not ignore that sickly kitten or cat hiding in the bushes. I don’t give out all my tricks because I am still trying to write my book through all that work on. But I give away a lot of what I have learned over the years. Rescue work is never easy and yesterday on the long trip, my friend Haley and I had long conversations about life in general and cats in particular. It was good medicine, that trip.
But I still sit here in tears feeling that I let Fiona down and her great departure from her normal routine, I just attributed it to the stress of a vet visit and left her in that cat carrier after seeing she was eating and drinking and using the litterpan (which thankfully means her suffering hasn’t begun quite yet)

Underneath all we have been facing recently with these cats, and I have put out on my blog here, I have kept one thing to myself. I believe, I just had to work through the devastation I felt when I first heard the news delivered by the specialist who was assigned to look at Mike’s legs. I think deep down, I knew what that visit was going to reveal but it was still so hard to accept and it stopped us in our tracks, driving Mike to do a lot of sleeping (more than he normally does) and to suddenly (even though it was 90 degrees or better outside) to wrap up in his heated throw and seek the refuge that sleep offers our bodies. Since the news, I have been exposed to the narrow-mindedness of people living in a small town who never really had a life. This is still brewing and may go legal in the future. I am still wrestling with all of that as well.

Mike has been referred to Oregon Heath Sciences up in Portland. He was told by this vascular surgeon that the surgeon couldn’t help us and NO ONE locally could either. The look on this surgeon’s face when he finally walked into the room where I had unwrapped and revealed Mike’s beat up legs was “horrified.” The surgeon, leaned against the wall (I guess the shock was to much for him) and told us that just by looking at Mike’s legs (He seemed afraid to touch them and I can’t blame him there). He would see that not only were the veins involved/infected/affected but also the arteries and the lymphatic system. He told us that the team of vascular surgeons will do an angiogram but it will just be a formality. Mike is now facing not losing one leg but both- above the knee.

Like I said earlier, I knew this was coming. I deal with his legs on a daily basis and when he would come back from wound care (three times a week) I would ask him what they said. He would tell me they told him he was better, the ulcer was “smaller” things were great! I would remember seeing the gaping ulcer on the side of his foot that morning and wonder if Mike was still living in denial. But when he came home three separate times and THEY DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER TO CLEAN OR WRAP HIS LEGS! I knew he wasn’t kidding. I am so FURIOUS with this “group.” He’s been under their questionable care now over TWO YEARS and no one (except me) has ever thought something was really wrong. How bad is it these days? I will just say this- when I used to come into the house after being outside for awhile, I could catch a whiff of litterpan odor. Not over-powering but it was there. Now, all I smell are Mike’s decaying legs and it is noxious.

Recently, he had an appointment with his doctor. Normally, he would take a shower, I would cleanse and bandage his legs and send him off. This time, I put my foot down and told him he was going to take a sponge bath and I was not touching his legs and bandages. Also, when we got to the doctor’s office, I didn’t unwrap his legs- the doctor did and he almost passed out in the process. Two days later, we were at the “specialist.”

So my strong, loving, funny husband will soon be facing a challenge that I hope won’t crumble him. We are waiting on that referral and this morning after Fiona’s visit, I will be stopping at the doctor’s office and lighting a fire underneath their butts to get this done quickly. I wish I had performed my tough love so much earlier, but I trusted they knew what they were doing and doubted my common sense and compassion that told me otherwise.

On the legal side that I mentioned earlier. I said some things in confidence to the head nurse. We were behind closed doors no one else was in the room at the time and I expressed my anger and my desire to kick some wound care clinicians in the ass and take names. This nurse apparently reported my conversation to the group, because when we got home after that conversation, there was a message on our machine. The receptionist had called to change Mike’s appointment (today) time. By the way, he isn’t going. At the END of the recording, I guess the receptionist thought she hung up the phone, because I can hear her whisper “Thank God it was the answering machine and not that bitch wife!” To say that I am livid is an understatement and I have my own plans forming now to see that this type of negligence and apathy doesn’t ever hit another patient again.

So I missed Fiona’s rapid slide into her cancer and it has been eating her up. This will be her last day with us and she will be missed so very much. My pitbull warrior princess could successfully defend herself against the attack that a pissed off husband instigated when he found out his wife had adopted her while he was on a business trip. I saved her from that horrible man retaliating against her and rushed to get her out of harm’s way. But now, she weighs two pounds and the only way I can save her now is to let her go, forever staying in my heart-

Toni was wonderful and ready for the challenges ahead. With Haley offering comfort and support during the long journey, it went quite well. One carrier was open and Trick came out and was a bit nervous at first but soon settled. Treat slept almost the whole way. It was so nice.

The home was immaculate. I laughed and told Toni that would change as soon as the girls discovered their toy chest and opened it up! I called when I got home, the girls are out and about as long as Toni sits still on the couch. Once she moves they both bolt for the safety of the bed. They are NOT fighting! They will not be caged or put in a carrier and they will have a wonderful life!

I love it when God stays in control

Also update on Pretty Girl in my in bin when I came home

Dina (pretty girl) is doing great!! she alternates sleeping with my husband and i or the kids. she comes whenever i call her. she loves sitting on the window sills and looking outside. she came out to the living room while i was in there for the first time two nights ago. normally she doesn’t come out to the livingroom unless we are all sleeping. she loves the kids. they are sooooo good with her. and her meow is the sweetest meow i have ever heard! she loves all three of the bedrooms but her new favorite is brian and I’s room. she is hardly ever hiding anymore. she usually just lays on our beds during the day. her tail is always up and she is always purring. 🙂 she has some toys but she hasn’t had much interest in them so far. i just love how she rolls onto her back all the time and how she tries to look all around her and swivels her head completely upside down and almost loses her balance :). i just wanted to give you another update and to let you know you can come visit her anytime!!

The good news is that the two girls can be on the same bed and they don’t tear each other up now. But there has to be a human in the mix, nearby ready to intervene in case things get raspy. Lots of growling and tensing up and swearing and staring- but no more locked in battle going for the throat.

I decided late yesterday to take the catio we built for Mason and place it on the bed. I moved all of Trick’s belongings into it and then put her inside. I was worried about her because her ears are so darn cold, even though she is on a pet heating bed and it isn’t that cold at the moment. It did the trick, her ears were warm this morning and although I had to spend the night in the recliner, it was well worth it.

They will travel tomorrow to their new home. It is going to be a long trip (8 hours roundtrip) My car is now set up for Trick to be in the back seat (with litterpans on the floor). All access to the front seats is now blocked and Treat will travel in front out of the carrier on the lap of my friend Haley. Bless her heart for volunteering for this job! I am going to head to Washington early, early and go the back country roads to see how this travel is going to pan out. I am not a believer in having loose kitties in your car, but under the circumstances, I believe this is the only way to go. If it doesn’t work then both kitties go into the carrier and are miserable for the journey. 🙁 I have my wonderful Harp Of Hope CD that is almost worn out, I have played it so much to soothe worried and stressed kitties during travel. The music is nothing short of miraculous how it stops kitties from stressing out.

Please pray the journey goes well for all of us. These poor girls have been through so much and they deserve their chance at a wonderful life together.

Just when I think I know what I am doing, God intervenes and I thank Him daily that he does! I have been in contact with an Abyssinian Rescue group out of Washington State. They have put me in touch with a 59 year old Registered Nurse (works with cancer patients wouldn’t you know) who is interested in taking BOTH the cats! She has no other pets, no children that live with her and she is a homebody after work so she can devote all her spare time to them. Her name is Toni and I will be taking the girls up on Thursday to her home.

What is standing in my way (as always is funding) She is going to make a donation for the gas, but I need an oil change before I make this 12 hour trip and I am going to set up my car to allow Treat to travel not in the carrier and hopefully her sister to be in the backseat. Treat will be held by one of my volunteers who is going with me on the trip. Please pray this all comes together. The people I talked to prior to Toni only want one cat not both and there is NO WAY I am going to let them lose the only anchor to their past they have left which is each other.

Trick was trembling earlier and I did a few head rubs and chin tickles on her, then lifted her on the bed and we just laid there. Thankfully, she isn’t prone to panic attacks like her sister and she doesn’t have that nervous energy that turns her into a whirling dervish! I hate that she has to stay in this cage right now and Thursday cannot come quick enough for me.

There is no sarcasm in this post when I say I want to thank all of you who spent a moment or two and sent me your criticisms both public and private about the girls and how it all was handled. Although some of the personal emails were hard to read (I am not as tough as I need to be when I am attacked) They did drive me to my knees and ask God for guidance. (That was late last night) This morning, the new mom called me and apologized and said although Trick was running around the house, perfectly relaxed and happy, she did not think it was going to work out in her heart. She found herself comparing Trick to her previous cat who she lost several years ago. The comparison was making her sad all the time and she didn’t like the place it was taking her. In short, she hasn’t stopped grieving and therefore cannot move forward.

Long story short, another drive up there to fetch Trick back and she is now in a cage in the bedroom with her sister and they both have my profuse apology. They are not going anywhere until they re-adapt to each other then they will move on in life together. It’s hard to be criticized, but it builds character after the hurt goes away. Laura had asked me to place these two before she left the world, so she could see photos of where they were going to live. I am not going to tell her about this recent development and the hospice worker agrees. There is now a network of Aby lovers invested in this story and interested in adopting both of the cats, so although it makes me out to be a fool, everything has happened for a reason.

I do want to say one thing. Words are very powerful and it seems to me on the Internet, they flow sometimes without a lot of guidance behind them. You can stay anonymous and inflict pain and uncertainty on others and never pay the price for those comments. It is the person receiving those comments who suffers- so just remember that next time you wish to react to ANYTHING posted anywhere on the Net. Type with kind hands and a gentle heart and the end result may surprise you.
If you will excuse me, I have two traumatized, grieving Abyssinians who need me right now.

Tonight when I went to feed Malcolm and Stryker, I accidently left the screen door to the enclosure opened. I forgot to latch the door. My hands were full and I turned to put all the supplies away and discovered when I turned back around that Malcolm had stepped outside. I quickly knelt down, popped open a can of cat food, and he turned and walked back into his home. I was so surprised and relieved. This is the kitty that resembled a pinball machine when he first came here- pinging back and forth all over the place, running up the walls and looking for escape. He allowed me to stroke and pet him for quite awhile afterward. I guess the call of the can was stronger than the call of the wild.

Probably no surprise to learn that both the Abys’ have now been placed in a loving home. I turned down five homes for them before finding the right one. The woman, Julie has no other cats, she lost her one cat a few years ago and didn’t think she was “ready” yet to invest all the love. Then this morning, “something” pulled her to look at pet ads and she found the girls and called me immediately.

When I left, the girls were under the bed, but doubt they will be there very long. They are where they need to be and they will want for nothing (especially love). I had to break some hearts earlier in regards to others interested in adopting them, but that’s how we roll here.

The woman who owns these beautiful creatures is named Laura. Laura is two weeks out from having her earthly journey end. She got polio when she was 20 years old, she then developed three different types of cancers and has been battling cancer her entire life. It has now settled in her spinal cord. She very matter of factually told me, “I will probably die of a brain tumor.”

She has made her peace with the world and her last concern on what she calls her “Exit List” were these two cats. Born on Halloween, they were named Trick and Treat. They are her joy and although not pedigree- they are darn close (no papers on them). They actually came from a breeding farm aka backyard breeder. She got them at 6 weeks old and they were quite sickly. But they survived. They are her joy and she has spent the better part of two weeks telling them goodbye. Laura, is quite simply an inspiration.

I told her that I would do right by these cats and that I don’t just adopt them to anyone. She looked hard into my eyes, then smiled and said “I know you will. You are good people.”

One of the cats (don’t ask me which one) is under our bed. The other one is in the carrier brought from their home. I took one side off this carrier so the cat can slide in and out easily. The capture was interesting. One girl was easy to pick up, she was hiding underneath the pillows. The other girl wasn’t that easy. Once inside the carrier, she busted right out and I had to take a towel to re-capture her. I know that both of them are in shock right now, but they are exquisite cats.

It will take a few days for their eyes to relax. Right now they are bug-eyed. I have photos of them, but frustratingly so, I am unable to post the photos. I had to upgrade to Windows 8 and apparently, it isn’t photo friendly. I’m still trying to figure it out. If anyone reading this knows how to save these photos into an existing photo gallery- I would be grateful. These two girls are stunning-

Here they are:

YAY! I did it! Finally! Aren’t they gorgeous? Their photo does not do them justice.

Last night, received a phone call from a hospice worker. Her charge is dying and she has two Abyssinian sisters about 2 years old. The woman was worried about the future of these beautiful cats and it was up to the hospice worker to find out how to secure homes for them. Apparently, there are no other relatives. Unable to find homes, the worker called me.

After the phone call, I was able to go into the bedroom and capture Gus (the semi-feral 7 month old kitten). Since Boo has been socialized and put into general population, the introduction cage stands empty. It broke my heart to trap this kitten, he was so scared and defensive. He nailed me pretty good in the process (claws not teeth). But now he has been disrupted and put into the introduction cage. When I went to feed him this morning, his displeasure was obvious; ears flat back, snarling and swiping. I have to admit, I am glad I moved him. In the bedroom where he can hide under the bed, there is little chance to even get close to him. Here in the tri-level cage although he has hiding spots- I can always at least initiate contact. Though right now, his body language is telling me to leave him the heck alone!

The two girls will arrive tonight. They are trained to obey a few commands; Up- to jump on the counter (which is the only place this woman could reach from her wheelchair) “Wait” they will stop what they are doing and then when they hear “OK” they will move off. “Sandbox” they will go to the litterpan and use it. “Fetch” they will fetch toys endlessly. They love running water and they are drop-dead gorgeous. The woman’s only stipulation for her beloved “girls” is they be adopted out together. I just realized, they gave me a whole page of information about these twos, except their names!