Yesterday, I finally found the courage to go into the bedroom and start sanitizing and cleaning things. Until now, it has been sealed tightly. There is a bleach step in front of the door in case I had to go in, but I found many reasons not to go in. I bleached down everything in the room, tossed out bedding, and laundered everything else.

As I scrubbed an mopped and scoured, I thought of this brave chocolate boy who was trying so hard to get better yet his body couldn’t keep up. By the look of the litter pan deep in the cage (it was flooded with urine) his kidneys weren’t functioning either.

I thought of all these cats wandering the streets trying to survive and simple things could save a lot of them from misery- LOVE-

Compassion for the kitty digging for dinner in the dumpster at the local fast food restaurant.

Awareness for the cat left alone and crying out his needs to the people walking by- people who mostly ignore them.

Education to reach the uninformed about the importance of spaying and neutering and parasite control-

We are such an instant society anymore. Drive thru restaurants, aps on our phones that get us where we want to go quicker, hold reservations longer, cell phones in our ears even when we are dining with friends. We drive faster, fly in crowded planes and we don’t communicate (actually sit and talk) with those we love.

I love these cats and I sit among them daily on the floor watching how they interact with each other- how they form bonds of trust with one another. If one of them is sick- the other cats are the first to know that something isn’t right and their behavior alerts me it is time for yet another vet visit.

I have a vet visit today, my sweet Tover who you would never know as a tomcat is getting neutered. Will he then go up for adoption? I don’t know- for like Zavan, there is a special quality to Tover and he is one that I will not let go unless I know the home is perfect.

He is highly indignant having to spend the night in the pet lodge in the bedroom- but at least I know it is safe in there- and when he gets home, he will join the others. As special as this black kitty is- there is no need for him to spread his specialness to other queens. It ends today- he gets chopped.

My one wish is that I could have returned Zavan whole and healthy to Bill, the man who cared enough to stop his day and pick this cat up (even though he was covered in fleas). Now as it stands, Bill does get Zavan back, but in an urn and not in a carrier.

One more thing in my meanderings of the morning- I was told yesterday I will be the featured shelter helper on adoptashelter Stop by if you can and read how this mission for cats started for me! It should be up in few days-

Rec’d a sweet note this morning from Rachel- McKenna’s new caretaker. Last night, McKenna spent the night on the bed either on Rachel’s back or lying on hubby’s head! LOL I am so thrilled that she has no more worries about cats or dogs attacking her and she will be able to be the queen of the house- and NOT that kind of queen, because I got her spayed!

It just tickles me when they get in contact so quickly with me and express their delight about the new member of the family. I generally wait 42 hours before I contact an adopters family to check in with them.

Mike’s leg and foot were unwrapped today and both look so much better! His leg actually looks almost like a real leg again size-wise. They took out most of the stitches and put another cast on him. The pathology report is not back yet- I checked.

I put an ad out about McKenna and she is now in her new home. In the ad, I mentioned she had a tendonectomy, lost her kittens and needed someone with so much love and NO other pets. God smiled and Rachel answered my ad.

McKenna is now living in a two story home with a newly married couple with a baby. For about 10 minutes she hid under the baby crib then decided to come out and join us. She was rolling over on the carpet and stretching her paws and relaxing. She isn’t quite sure what to do with the baby boy- but she will figure it out in time. The important thing is she has 2 humans who will love her, they know how to care for her feet and I introduced them to the best litter for declawed kitties by Ultra Pet – Ultra Pearls-

They will keep her in their bedroom for a few days then let her roam the house and she won’t have a care in the world. I am so glad because she deserves a chance to be happy and she wasn’t happy here- not when she was with the others- she was at war with all of them.

His surgery is over, he has been returned to the center and the growth is being rushed to Portland for testing. Still no idea what it is- but they said the pathologists will know once they dissect the thing and culture it. Mike has been tested and found to be a MYRSA carrier which means I am too. He had MYRSA back in 2008 and I have been living with him full time. The doctor said he wouldn’t even waste the money to get me swabbed and tested- he would just tell me I am a carrier. How to not get MYRSA? I asked. His reply Don’t get injured! LOL Guess I better tell all the strays and ferals not to bite and scratch me anymore!

I received the call this morning. The woman has discovered something I missed totally and I ALWAYS check the claws on strays- ALWAYS- but with her being so heavily pregnant having the kittens so fast and them not surviving it escaped my notice McKenna has been declawed! 🙁 They wanted her for an outside kitty on their ranch so they are bringing her back today-

This boy went gently into the wind. He is not bounding over the Bridge, he is flying. He is breathing unencumbered and his nose no longer resembles Niagra Falls. He carries secret messages within his heart for a special someone who is waiting for him.

God Bless the Man who couldn’t drive by this straggly looking kitty. God Bless the pet author he remembered meeting and wrote to asking who can help Zavan- and most of all, God Bless this Brown and Black Kitty who carried within him the courage of a tiger-

I know that I wrote that I would put every medicine in this boy to keep him alive, but he was fading regardless. Yesterday, I made the conscious decision to just not give him anything but love, food and water for him to take on his own, and to keep those vaporizers going. And for a brief moment, this kitty who had been lying in the same spot for two days, came out after I left and ate a bit, pooped and peed. Then he returned to the same spot.

I went in later, elated to see he was eating and using the pans. I was in the room cleaning up talking to him and he didn’t peek his head out of the cage. I didn’t reach in to love on him- I just let him be.

He finally came out right before I was leaving and he snagged the bottom of my jeans. I turned around and bent down to pet him. His tail was low-switching from side to side and his eyes were so full of fluids- but he looked at me and he said, please enough. I can’t do this anymore.

As I pet him, I noticed his body, his tail was covered in slime. There comes a time when you have to step out of the situation and take a hard look at a cat and wonder about the quality of life. This cat at one time mattered to someone enough to be chipped. But somewhere along the way, someone stopped caring, or they moved and in the chaos he escaped and found himself on the streets fighting to survive.

Whatever he has- it is kicking his brown little butt and I am waiting for the proper time this morning to call Vicki and ask her to end his suffering. I believe she knows I will be calling. It is not a phone call I want to make nor is it one she wants to receive.

I am sorry that he isn’t strong enough to kick this, I am sorry I am not wise enough to actually talk to him and ask him what is wrong with him. But I have seen this look before and he is tired, and his body is worn down. It is time for him to find that place where pain is not an issue, where he can run and fly and connect with others before him and others just like him.

I sent the hardest email this morning to the man who found him and brought him to me. It has been requested that I have Zavan cremated and returned to the gentleman who could not ignore this skinny, wet black and brown kitty that caught his eye as he drove by.

So in the end, not only in my home, and in all of your thoughts but in the heart of this kind-hearted man- Zavan MATTERED and I will tell him that before the needle finds its place and Zavan flies to heaven.

He stopped eating last night. There is no activity in the litter pans and he stays to the back of the cage instead of coming out to greet me. I did assist feed him but he threw the majority of the slew up and his tail started switching angrily. I managed to catch his urine and will take that in tomorrow morning along with him for a recheck. His third eyelids are very pronounced he can barely see and he has developed almost overnight huge sores under his nose from all the discharge. I’ve left him in peace for now- in the dark to hopefully find what he needs to continue the good fight-

I have poked, applied, squirted, pricked and slathered Zavan with medication that I am sure tastes fairly nasty.

Just now, trying to give him sub-cu fluids, he was less than cooperative and I only ended up giving him half of what he needed. He backed away from me, his back was arched, his eyes were gummy and although no sound came out, it was clear he was hissing at me.

I told him he can hate me all he wants. I will continue to squirt slime into his mouth, make him take his iron supplement, sprinkle LLysine on his food, prick him with needles every other day and give him more fluids if it means he lives. I told him he can hate me and may it be a long, healthy hate in the end.

Whoever reads this-please say prayers for Zavan- he is slipping and I have a feline specialist on the way to weigh in on the situation. Please just send a prayer and I will fill it all in later- I am up to my eyeballs today juggling alligators.

Ok- just got back from the vet’s office where I picked up some Pet Tinc and RenaKare Gel. Zavan is dropping tremendous amounts of potassium and iron so I need to supplement him in the hopes of making him stronger.

Dr. Vicki one of the top feline specialists in the U.S. and who helps me with my tough cases says that she doesn’t think this is bartonella as he doesn’t have most of the symptoms associated with the disease. Whatever he does have, or has picked up it is chronic and could he have a deep-seated lymphoma? At his age, this is entirely possible. But she suggested I supplement him with iron and potassium and get him a B-12 shot. All of which has been done.

I found the magic food he wants to eat which is Whiska’s wet- not the best choice but certainly better than nothing. I am also to give him fluids every other day (sub-cu) because she does not believe like my regular vet does that his loose skin is mostly weight loss-

So now, I will go in and see if I can give this gel and tonic to Zavan and give him a bit more strength to fight another day.