Poem from a Feral Cat

I may never be a lap cat,

or one who comes when called.

I may resist the hand that tries to touch

and some may think I’m flawed.

I may prefer my freedom

to your warm and cozy house

I may reject a bowl of finest foods

for the chance to catch a mouse.

But the box you put out for me,

Feels safe and warm and dry.
And I raise my eyes to thank you

when I see you walking by.

I eat the food you give me

I listen to your voice

I may never be a lap cat

but thank you for offering me the choice.

One day I’ll see the winter,

one day I’ll feel the rain,

I may grow old not knowing

there is freedom from this pain

I know you’ve tried to help me

and although my days will end

I may never be a lap cat

but I know you are my friend.

The issue with the cold seeping into the cats sleeping quarters have been solved. A farmer down the road, offered several of his older straw bales to me. We took these bales and stacked them alongside the leaky back wall. Now the cold air seeps into the straw bales, the cats are staying warmer in their own straw beds and it has made a world of difference to Misty who has re-occurring runny nose and draining eyes. We carved out a bale to accomodate their opening from the back wall, so the wind isn’t quite as welcome to come in and invade their living space.

Many thanks to those of you who offered your support and comments in the previous post. We do have several insulated cat beds out of heavy duty plastic containers. They made a set years ago, that actually stack one after the other into each other. We bought several of those sets and insulated into the space of two stacked together. We cut several holes so the cats could escape if necessary. We filled them with straw and set them outside. They’ve proven to be highly popular among the cats and very water and weatherproof.

Thanks again- Happy New Year all-

Generally here in Oregon, the arrival of Winter means a lot of pounding rain. Not this year. This year we have already had snow, black ice and freezing rains. Misty must have been perturbed at me this morning (plus she has to be feeling better.) she gave me what-for when I went into the shop to feed.

In the winter we try to double up on canned cat food. The shop is currently a safe haven for Bravo, Gadget, Poe.Twist, Misty, Goblin and Crazy Eyes. We spread straw all around for them to make warm beds, but the back wall of the shop has deteriorated over time. The icy winds are finding their way inside. We are trying to figure out how to run electricity located 13 feet away using one electrical cord. The other cats in the enclosures they have heated beds  However they don’t have solid walls the enclosures are made of wire. It can get mighty cold in there for them.

it’s frustrating for me because most of these cats are seniors  They deserve to be warmer  I can’t get the shop cats to relocate to the barn which has electricity. They prefer to stay in the shop. Probably  because they can bolt out through the walls if they sense danger  These are all the cats that were living under my house for years. That opportunity no longer exists for them. The cats in the enclosures have warm beds  Just not solid walls to keep the cold out

A quick trip to the local hardware store yesterday turned up with no good solution  Every “outdoor” extension cord that I looked at all said the same thing. Keep out of water. Seems to me, if you can use the cord safely outside it should be fine to put it on the ground and it will handle the elements. But what do I know? I know Mike could solve this problem a lot faster than I can

I also thought about getting a pipe that I could stretch across the distance and elevate it off the ground. But there’s no way that’s going to work because there’s nothing in that space for it to go on it would literally have to go from the barn into the shop in one continuous line. There are no trees or tree limbs available nearby to help keep it off the ground. I can’t do it with the cord alone because when it rains of course the trees get wet. I’m probably rambling I’m just worried about my kitties this winter because it seems like  it’s going to be much more of a challenge to keep them warm this year than ever before

So, we are feeding canned food in the morning and at night. But last night I was feeling pretty punky. I received a message that I’ve been exposed to Omacrom  i’m three vaccines in but I was still feeling a bit exhausted so I didn’t feed last night. I knew they had plenty of dry food and fresh water. When I put Missy‘s food down this morning in front of her she struck at me with her claws out and shredded my hand. She’s never done that before. I think she was telling me. “I don’t care how you feel, remember those of us out here who are dependent on you to stay warm.” We are feeding 9 cans in the morning and nine cans at night. The supply is being hit pretty hard. But it’s the only way that I can see to keep these cats going through what Winter is throwing at us right now

Tomorrow it’s supposed to be snowing again and Friday it’s supposed to dip down into the 20s. I wish they made battery powered warming beds for cats but I haven’t found one yet. I have several self-warming beds on the straw  But not enough for all the seniors. I just think after everything they went to before they arrived here, they deserve to have no stress in their lives from here on in. Right now, I am unable to make that possible

A big thank you to those who are dropping off and shipping cat food here for my rescues. I keep getting packages daily and to tell you how relieved I feel especially seeing that there’s a week of snow in the forecast wouldn’t even come close to expressing my gratitude.

My Seniors will stay warm, my cats fighting kidney issues will stay hydrated and perhaps during my next payday, I will be able to come up with the money necessary to get my truck fixed. ( The starter went out on it yesterday.) If I don’t have to buy cat food it’s a strong possibility I can get my truck in to get repaired.

Thank you one and all-you have really made my Christmas bright-

Thursday, I took Kota back to the vet for a recheck. I was apprehensive because this would mean I would have to come clean and admit I had stopped all medicated baths, all medications, ointments and resorted to holistic measures.

When my vet saw Kota after so many weeks. The first thing he said was: “ Oh good! You’ve been to the Specialist?” I told him no in fact I had canceled the specialist appointment. He was curious about what I did instead, so I told him. I do love my vet, but I do wish that more vets would embrace learning about natural ways to cure instead of relying on chemicals and other types of harsh treatments. When I told him about spraying Kota with an Apple Cider Vinegar and Rosemary solution to re-grow his hair, his expression said it all!

l put Kota on a “Down-Stay” command. I asked him to roll over, he displayed his under-belly for all to see  Instead of looking like he was a cancer survivor, he only had a few patches of hairless skin showing. My vet was puzzled but happy. He started rubbing Kota hard which Kota loves. Kota got to his feet, pressed himself against the vet’s leg and received a full rub-down. The last time this happened the vet’s hands were full of clumps of fur and dander that were falling off my dog. This time when he showed me his hands, they were clean!

He has now given Kota a clean bill of health! My dog is active, sensitive, playful, gone is the couch potato that didn’t want to move even when he had to go potty. He is engaged in whatever I’m doing. Following me around the house helping me with my laundry, doing everything that he was doing before he got so ill.

I believe with all my heart that this turn-round is heavily based on the fact that the last time we were attending church (which was several months ago.) I noticed a Kota wasn’t doing well.  I knew that we had to leave. I was told later by another church member that after we left the building,  everyone got together and prayed for my dog. After that visit, is when Kota began to rebound. We haven’t been back to church since. We are planning to go next week.

I don’t like to speak in public. But I do plan on standing in front of the body of the church and thanking all of them for praying for someone who they hardly knew and praying for her dog who who was so ill. Not only has this church renewed my faith in God, but it also has renewed my faith in the kindness of humans. In cat rescue most times, you are confronted with the darkness of some humans. It can wear-down the soul. It was nice to be re-introduced to the light.

I apologize for not posting sooner. It has been a very strange few days here, both good and bad.So I will try to catch you up.

Wednesday morning, I was in my carport with a gentleman who had come to my rescue to fix a leak in my carport roof. Water was pouring through. We were just finishing up and I heard the screech of brakes, that all too familiar, sickening “THUD!” and the dog screaming in pain.

I dropped everything in my hands and ran towards the sound. By the time, I got to the edge of my driveway and looked toward town, I could see the dog laying in the middle of the highway. He was a young, German Shepherd mix. He was not moving. The woman who hit him had stopped in the turning lane and was getting out of her car, while the highway traffic was whizzing by.  I stepped out into the lane and held up my hand until all traffic going to town stopped, The guy who helped me with my roof, stepped in front of me to hold traffic, and I raced to pup. As I was running, I saw him get up and wobble, he took a few steps and then he got bumped by a car slowing down on the oncoming lane. I looked back to make sure the second lane was clear of traffic (I hate this highway) and when I looked back, the dog had vanished! He had taken off and ran into my neighbor’s yard two houses away. He certainly chose the right home to go to. She has three dogs and a secure fence around her entire property as well as a front gate. The gate was opened. I raced inside looking for him. Someone followed me and shut the gate.

He was cowering back by her fence. Several people were near him talking softly, offering him treats. He was trembling and I could see blood coming out of his mouth and blood on his legs. As I slowed my approach, a woman startled me, she grabbed my arm. She said “God Mary Anne, when we hit him, I told my husband “Oh no, we just hit Kota!” I looked at her and realized she was someone I knew who had adopted several cats from me. I just didn’t recognize her. We haven’t seen each other since Covid hit, although we text often.

I asked the people to back away and asked if someone had a leash? Two men who had been talking to the dog, they were able to approach and put a loop over the dog’s head. We tried to coax him to walk, but he couldn’t at the that time. I ran home, grabbed my truck while calling the vet and came back.

I backed right up to where the dog was sitting. We tried to put a blanket over his head (but he wasn’t having any of that.) They finally just gently lifted him into the back of my truck.

As I was racing to vet, I didn’t expect this dog to even survive the trip. He was laying in the back, panting and whining. There was blood all over the blanket. He had lost his functions and I could smell the urine pouring out of him.

This boy got lucky! He will be fine! He got rolled (fairly substantially) but the vet said the cars must have hit him broadside instead of head-on. He is one year old and quite sweet with people. My friend had posted a picture and the story of FB local page and by the time I got back to the vet, there were 15 phone calls from people saying I had their dog. Pictures being sent, (looks like the litter was large and they all favored each other.) But the bottom line is, he was the one who told us who he belonged to. The minute he saw her approaching, he went ballistic, she was squealing. They were very much telling us that they belonged together. She’s a single mother raising a child and said that she could pay me back the vet bill in small payments. I told her to forget it, it was covered. (I have become accustomed to a large vet debt). I’m just glad he was alive, that she loved him and he loved her. That’s all the confirmation I needed.

So yesterday, I got up and drove to town to buy a bag of cat food for the kitties. I knew I could make a 30 pound bag of Cat Chow last till my shipment arrived. When I got back home a few hours later- (hunting for 30 pounds of Cat Chow locally has never been harder!) There was a donation of food in my carport! Two bags of cat chow, two cases of Fancy Feast and a case of Friskies shreds! No clue who put it there-  I still don’t know, but what I do know is that God has got my back.

Also, thank you, those of you who gave of your heart and sent monies into Paypal. I am so grateful. With the supply chain being so tenuous right now and all those shipments backed up at the ports, there is really no guarantee when the cat food will arrive. Your donations will help me buy more food.

For some reason, my blog isn’t letting me post photos. I have not had the time to figure out why. Or I would post this photo of Taz, the puppy who miraculously survived being hit by a car not once but twice.

A Christmas Wsh fulfilled and a Christmas Miracle all in the same day-

God Does Bless Us All-

I just received an email from a supplier that I order dry cat food and wet cat food from. They apologized profusely and said that due to circumstances beyond their control, my order is going to be 1 to 2 weeks late! This morning I have completely run out of wet food and dry food. The monies that I had set aside to buy the food has already been spent on the food, but the food isn’t here. If I could get six people to send me five dollars I could go and get a bag of food to tide my kitties over until their order arrives .

That is all I want for Christmas this year.

This old terrycloth robe is being retired as of today. Deserving of the grandest of ceremonies, it will instead be lovingly packed into a paper bag and laid to rest alongside all the cats and kittens in our pasture pet cemetery.

For you see, this robe has held within its folds multiple cats and kittens either being bottle-fed, medicated, or simply in need of comfort and love. Countless preemies, newborns and adult cats have been tucked into its deep navy blue folds. It’s deep pockets created a cave of security and serenity for so many newborns. One custom-made pocket provided an extra level of reassurance for its occupants. Centered over my beating heart, it not only captured the rhythm of my heart for the tiny being tucked deep inside but also became a heated bed provided by my body warmth. If this bathrobe could talk, it would instead sing to the listener an endless parade of kitty lullabies it has heard, remembered and stored throughout the years.

This tattered piece of cloth has certainly seen its share of hairballs. The folds of cloth have held enough tears to fill an ocean. It’s threads, baptized more times than it cares to remember from kitties making kitty mistakes. It is now threadbare and worn-out used to the point where the material is ripped beyond repair.

Hard to let go of; countless memories wrapped in love, remembrances surrounded by material. Dedicated tear- collector, purr-keeper, occasional  butt-wiper, providing numerous kittens and cats the solace needed during the most difficult of times. A faithful servant whose time has now come to an end-

“Rest in Pieces Old Friend”

Mary Anne Miller

Three years ago today, Mick left me and started on his own spiritual journey. When the angels came for him, I know they gave him two legs, a healed, perfect heart, functioning, working kidneys and a reunion looming with all who passed who loved him both two-footed and four-footed.

Since his death I have seen him quite a number of times. Not him as if as a ghost, but men who look remarkably like him. Balding, rotund, gray beard. I would see them walking on the streets (always alone) or in cars or restaurants. One time, I almost veered out of my lane the resemblance of the man who had just driven past me was identical to Mike. They could have been twins.

I only cried twice this year. Both times, Kota came to me well in advance to let me know the storm was on its way. But these storms are different now, they are healing. The last storm I had yesterday didn’t last very long. I had a written a poem for him. I’ve started a new ritual for my remembrance. I write him a letter on his passage day. Then I take the letter out to the burn pile, set it on fire and send it skyward.

When I finished the letter, the phone was ringing. It was a dear old friend of ours,  her and her husband ran an Inn in Talkeetna Alaska. Mike and I would go there three times a year. His company, Alascom (the major phone company in Anchorage) would send him there for three weeks to calibrate the earth stations up on Denali. I would go with him.

She told me that she had learned he had died, but that was all she knew. Over the years, she and I became good friends. The rooms back then were sparse. No television (back then there wasn’t cable or cell phones) it was that long ago. LOL  I did a lot of hiking with our dogs, and a lot of reading. Finally one trip, the Inn was full and Renamary looked like she might need help. I asked her if I could help her clean the rooms or work with Vern in the restaurant. I told her it wasn’t for pay. So that’s when it started. Every time we would go up there and Mike would vanish on the mountain- I would help out with cleaning and laundry.

So when she called me, she wasn’t being nosey. I had called the Inn just prior to that phone call. This year I have started to go through the two upstairs rooms where a lot of his boxes still remain. I ran into a card her kids made him one time when he broke his leg fishing on a friend’s boat. The card was amazing being that it was made by children ranging from the age of 12 to 4 years old. It shows Mike on the dock, he has his fishing pole he is using as a cane, but you see a line going out from the pole into the water and there is a huge halibut fighting underwater because Mike has hooked it. His broken leg is propped up on a cooler and I am sliding the cooler along the dock slowly so we can get him up to where the ambulance was supposed to be arriving. The kids did a good job illustrating a true story (except for the halibut part).. So I called the Inn, but in the winter, they don’t man their phones,  I left a message. Within minutes she called me back and we talked almost two hours.It was cathartic for both of us.We laughed, we cried, we shared memories we had to him and we reconnected. It was healing and confirmation for me, that my path of grief was indeed changing.

He died at midnight on the 9th- so once again sleep eluded me this year. I was up all night opening boxes and finding bits of myself again. I have been lost for a time now. I am finding my way back.

Now if you will excuse me, I have a letter to deliver.

May God Bless All of You-

Last night, I realized that I accidentally might have solved the issue of why Kota’s fur is falling out, and why he has been acting so sluggish and off. It took awhile to put all the clues together. I have been journaling when he exhibits the symptoms that alarm me: I believe he is allergic to Ashley, his sleep partner.

Her and Magoo vanish during the day. It’s as if I have two invisible cats in the daylight (they hide underneath my recliners) I don’t dare even recline in them anymore, they are just straight chairs. At night they appear. Ashley will sleep with Kota on the bed, and Magoo sleeps on the condo in the bedroom.

Lately, at night Kota has been keeping me awake. He is continuously and furiously licking his lips (slurping) to catch the drainage (clear) coming out of his nose at a constant rate. I have an appointment with my vet for him on the 16th to try to figure out why.

Last night, I was looking at my journal/calendar and trying to figure out this puzzle. The pieces just came together for me. He is allergic to Ashley. Not actually to her dander, but to the toxins that have settled in her skin. It makes total sense to me now why they are not grooming themselves, or each other. I did not buy one vet’s explanation that they don’t groom because they didn’t have a mother who showed them how. We have had hundreds of orphaned bottle babies here, who have grown up grooming themselves and mutually grooming others. It’s all falling into place. A dog’s nose is so sensitive, they can even smell human emotions. Their noses are so advanced, that is why they are used in search and rescue, narcotic searches, explosives etc. Kota is picking up the chemicals and reacting to them in a negative way.

When the kittens do visit me on occasion, they will jump on my lap and crawl up my chest. They press their bodies against my face and as I try to breathe before I move them off, their fur doesn’t smell right? They don’t smell like a cat- they smell like a chemical or chemicals. I believe that during their traumatic birth in the fires, the ash and soot settled on them and absorbed through their skin. Kota is not allergic to cats, he is allergic or responding to the toxins on their skin. I have given these kittens so many  baths to remove the smell, but nothing works. The concern is where might these toxins be besides their skin? It’s to early to tell. During the day, because they are not around, Kota’s nose is dry and warm.

Today, I will again wash all the bedding in the room. I will close off the bedroom so the cats can’t even get inside. Tonight, I will be shutting my bedroom doors so that Ash can’t come inside to sleep with her buddy. I am betting that in doing this, Kota will sleep undisturbed with no massive drainage pouring out of his nose. I will also finally be able to sleep without worrying about what is wrong with my dog now.

Time will tell if I am right, but I really believe I am on the right track.