After the previous fiasco I experienced with Ashley when it came to simply grooming her and trying to remove mats. I was apprehensive this morning. She again has accumulated a fairly large amount of small mats on her beautiful fur. Recalling the last time that I was trying to groom her and the poop-fest that followed I was not anxious to have that repeated.

Moving the cat condo into the dining room turned out to be the best thing I could’ve done to get her adjusted to me. To let her experience me in the same room, yet not paying one bit of attention to her when I’m in there. It became frustrating at times, because she’s so beautiful. She is so friendly once she allows you to get your hands on her (It’s on her terms) she will tolerate petting. If you cross her trust barrier, she will swat at your hand. I did notice this morning that prior to moving her cat post when she swatted she had her claws out. This morning, she kept them sheathed

It was just so tempting to reach out and pick her up and cuddle her and love on her and let her know that she’s safe. But she’s not that type of cat that you can get away with that behavior so I just ignored her.

This morning it just felt like the right time. She was between my office and the bedroom with the entrance of the kitchen. I was able to shut the bedroom door without her noticing. When I came back to the dining room she was still sitting in the exact spot so I went ahead and I shut the kitchen door. Now she is trapped between my office and my bedroom

Years ago, I removed the frame  from my bed. This means that my mattress and box springs  sit directly on the floor. Repeated incidents over the years of kitties and cats hiding out underneath my bed with no way of getting to them other than scaring them half to death prompted this move. Now, they no longer have that safe cave. However, I have created other caves in my bedroom and in my office where they can go and feel safe but can still be captured.

I am typing this last part of my post with a smile on my face because this morning I was able to capture her safely. She immediately went rigid in my arms, but she didn’t bite me, she didn’t scratch me, and she didn’t growl. I carefully carried her into the bathroom and shut the door. Previously, I prepared a place on the counter to work with her. She was deposited on top of a very soft towel. All of my grooming tools were laid out nearby in the sink. I was able to remove all but two mats on her body. She did scratch me once, I let her jump down and decompress, before I again picked her up for a final comb!

All that has led to this moment melted away,  all that frustration, wondering if she will ever feel or respond as a normal cat?  Resisting the temptation constantly to reach out to her and pick her up. It just all left because it was all worth it.

She was not relaxed by any measure. She went immediately tense, her paws were wrapped around the top of the bathroom counter in a death grip. I had to block her with my body, all the while trying to keep her within my reach so that I could brush her. It was quite the dance. But we got it done. No poop flying everywhere. No butt bath to a traumatized scared-to-death kitty wondering what in the world her human just did to her . I put  Ash on the floor. I opened the bathroom door and before she left I was able to actually pet her back!

This experience left me with something I have been missing for about three years now. The joy I feel in rescuing. The joy in accepting a life that others have given up on. These two Burn Survivors  are amazing cats in their own right.The fact that once we erase our own human needs out of the picture, and look at life from their point-of-view, it all just starts to come together  If you know the previous history, and unfortunately with Ashley and Magoo we do, you have to put that into the equation, most of the time, this is the true leader of this dance between the two of you

The  leader of this dance  carries a label: PTSD  Hopefully, this is the beginning of a lot more steps to come  It’s such a joy when it all works out  in the end. When it all starts to go right. When the dance starts to finally come together

Right now the only thought in my head is prayers for the Ukrainian‘s.

But I wanted to let you know that Goblin’s friend got his neuter. He is now called Floyd and he is living the life of Riley with his new owner. They couldn’t be happier with him and he is safe and warm and living the life.

Now back to my prayers

I don’t know if any of you remember but when Goblin made his first appearance here on our property he wasn’t alone. The newcomer that arrived with him has been fairly elusive until now. Looking at the condition of this mackerel tabby I suspect that what drove him out of hiding was hunger and pain. Evidence on his paws and legs shows that he has had some sort of an asphalt encounter. Either he was thrown out of a car or dumped in the road and making his way to safety is when he was injured.

I finally  was able to capture him recently. After being dewormed and de-fleas he has put weight on him quite quickly. He is a Tomcat. He is scheduled for a neuter on the 17th of this month. I am not asking for assistance in helping to pay off my huge vet debt at this time. What I am asking is just the money to cover his neuter and his tests and his shots. We are looking at around $200. If anyone can send anything towards this end, this will just help to not adding new debt onto old.

He seems to favor canned food over dry so I am grateful that my pantry has canned food for now. Despite what he’s been through he has a very sweet nature. I am hoping to find him a wonderful home quite quickly.

Once he’s back up to normal weight I will put his photo online. Right now he’s not thrilled to have his picture taken and who can blame him? But he gets very loving when I have food in my hands. Lol

I was pleasantly awakened this morning by a long-haired gray and white kitty jumping on my bed. Ash burrowed under the covers next to my neck and face! Inwardly I froze because I knew if I made the wrong move towards her it could in badly for me. When she feels threatened she has no hesitation in striking out with her claws. My throat was covered with a blanket for which I was grateful.

Unable to talk because she was pressed against my face. I laid very still and waited to see what she would do. She finally moved off me a little bit and turned to look at me. I closed my eyes praying to God that she would not get scared and lash out.

I so wanted to touch her, stroke her and tell her I loved her. But instead, I just laid there trying to relax and take in the moment. When Magoo entered into the bedroom, she of course startled and flew off me. I was thankful for the blanket protecting my throat otherwise it could’ve been a little bit painful.

But it’s a start of the trust beginning to re-form between us  I know at this point if I take the reins and decide what to do next it could go sideways very quickly. So she is the leader in this case. I will take my cues from her. I have to add that I keep seeing her in a more relaxed state in the house. Generally she hides underneath my recliner. I had to disconnect my electric recliner and buy a footstool. Kitties hiding underneath recliners is not a good thing. They can become damaged, hurt even killed through the mechanisms for the electric chairs as well as the static chairs. In rescue we’ve had too many of these types of injuries arrive here over the years.

I will sit back and see what she does next. Hopefully I will continue to read her correctly and advance in our trust slowly. She is now my dance partner. The next steps are up to her.

Also apologies about my wish list. I’m dealing with a computer crash on my PC and I believe it’s all connected.

I believe my experiment is working. Ash is now being spotted in the house during the day which is quite uncommon to how it was before. Both her and Magoo are claiming their favorite sleeping spot. I know she is there in the night, but I leave her completely alone because that’s the plan. If I go in the kitchen and she’s on the post,  she doesn’t jump down and flee. I can see her from my peripheral view. I make no eye contact whatsoever.

Last night while cooking dinner, she was sitting up on top of the post and watching me like a hawk, but she was not disappearing. I do miss the days when I could actually touch her and pet her even though she would swat at me afterwards.

I miss my Molly girl, it’s been one year since she went to The Bridge. With so much going on right now in the world and in my life, I miss her constant presence of warmth, purring and calm. I believe that Magoo is picking up on my stress level. He actually laid in my lap yesterday for about two hours. He wasn’t being a whirling dervish he was being very calm. I needed that more than anything.

Besides what’s happening on the world scale right now, which there’s nothing I can do about that, My truck has been very sick. It has managed to swallow anything extra I have managed to save. Money that I was hoping to use for my cats. Unfortunately it’s still is sick and I have it parked because I cannot drive it right now. It’s not reliable or dependable and we are stuck because parts are not available to fix it.

The weather here has turned brutal. Icy cold wind while the sun is out in the day is a little bit hard to wrap your head around. My canned cat food supply sits at six cans and my dry food which you can’t find locally in large bulk anymore, unless you’re extremely lucky, or you get to the store first before everybody else is dwindling. I don’t have any reserve now because of the truck situation. I am just a bit stressed right now I guess you could say. For so many reasons. So I am grateful that Magoo is trusting me and he is trying to become a normal lap kitty . Of course if I sneeze or cough he takes off for the hills. (Also known as my bed).  he burrows underneath all the covers hiding from the sneeze monster! I seem to have worse allergies in the winter time than I do in the summertime, go figure.

to anyone who is reading this. Please just take care of yourself and your loved ones. Make sure that those you treasure in your life know that they are your treasures. Continue to stay safe, sane and hug those four-footed lovelies in your life

After careful thought regarding Ashes inherent fear of me following that pooping incident the other day. I have devised a plan which I pray will work.

The kittens have a favorite spot to sleep, it’s a cat post located in my office in a dark corner. It’s a custom-made beauty, eight feet tall, consisting of three levels plus three hidey holes   Four days ago, I moved it from my office into my dining room. I am hoping in moving this favorite spot of hers, she will in time go back to her favorite sleeping spot. Even when I am in the kitchen cooking or cleaning.

She already knows that her food arrives out of the kitchen. Hopefully that will put her a bit at ease. These were my thoughts as I was moving the cumbersome object to its new location. Also this time, they have a room with a view because it’s right by my dining room window.

Yesterday morning, when I turned on the kitchen light she was sleeping on the top of the post. Of course she skedaddled the minute she saw me. But it’s a start. My plan is to ignore her when she’s up there, until comes the day when she once again can accept my presence in the room without fleeing. I know I desperately want this day to come tomorrow, but we are working on her schedule and not mine. I see matted hair on her chest and neck forming. She is due for a flea treatment, but there is no way I can get close to her without her going ballistic, repeating the fear she feels.

I cannot treat her as if she’s feral, because she’s not. PTSD and being feral are two different entities. Magoo is already claiming his spot on the post, so I am hoping she will once again return and over time, we will find our way back to each other.

It’s a cat-and-mouse game between us now. At this point I’m just not sure who will come out victorious her or me? I am praying it’s will be me.

The plan of action regarding Ashley is to take no action at all. I have been ignoring her since the last incident, where she got so scared that she couldn’t stop pooping on herself. I did talk to a few cat behaviorists that I know and  other than supporting my Bach Flower remedy choice- Aspen-(which now goes into water bowls in the house) they agreed that minimizing the threat she feels she is under is the best choice

If I were to press the issue and force her to endure being picked up or held/restrained in any fashion- all the  small positive strides we have made together would quickly vanish  Plus it would freak her out to the point that she might not return back to me the way that I know her to be.

As hard as it for me to refrain from “trying” to fix her,  and to accept the “do no harm” aspect  This is how it must be  pushing her to accept what I believe she needs, that is not what she needs. Sometimes in our attempt to get it right. We can get it so wrong.She did come out yesterday and say hello to me, so her trust is gradually returning. However when I reached down to try to pet her she fled.

When I say that I am ignoring her, I don’t mean that I’m not feeding her or taking care of her (just to make that clear). Her Achilles heel seems to be Friskies canned prime fillets (chicken fish flavored). So I have been leaving dots of it around the house for her to find. No strings attached.

Our wintertime cat food supply is dwindling. Should anyone care to help us out we could sure use more canned food at this time. The weather is still bitter cold at night. Right now we’re sitting at 27°F. It’s 6 o’clock in the morning and I just went out to feed. They seem to like it when I warm up the food in the microwave first .

When I accepted these burn kittens into our care, I had no idea the challenges that would result from it. It is 3:44 a.m. right now and about two hours ago, I woke up to a horrendous crash upstairs. Both Ash and Magoo flew down the stairs as I came out of the bedroom. There was poop flying out of Ash’s bum- this is something she has displayed after her long stay at the vet when she first got here. It’s a stress reaction. It is PTSD at its smelliest. It is so sad that she displays this. She will poop on herself when she is stressed out and that stress can be as simple as taking mats out of her long fur, or taking her temperature to see if she is sick.

Her eyes become so dilated once she is even gently restrained. Scruffing her is out of the question, this is met with her whole body going stiff and then the trembling starts. She will bite, she will scratch and she will growl throughout the whole restraining process and through it all, poop will start flowing out of her.

My shelf upstairs had collapsed, they were rough-housing and running amuck which is what they do through-out most of the night. It took me about an hour to locate her. She had clawed a hole in one of our couches and was hiding within. She was stiff as a board, but unhurt and covered in poop from her rear down to her tail. I wrapped her up gently and took her into the bathroom to clean her up. I knew, that this was going to be a lost cause. Because when you bathe her, she poops all over you, the bucket, herself. It’s really a no-win situation.She can be perfectly clean after the bath and picking her up and putting her on the floor, she will poop again. It’s maddening.

I’ve said this before, I don’t have proof, but I think she was mishandled while she was gone. When she was finally released back to us, we noticed she was deathly afraid of hands. It always brings me to tears when she displays this behavior. They have been de-wormed, they have been de-flead routinely. She is not sick, she is eating, drinking and even using the litterpans normally. She has a new pheremone collar on right now. (I keep a stock of these on-hand because they work so well.)

Right now, she is decompressing in our bathroom. I know her bum is really stinky and dirty, but going in there to wipe her off or give her another butt bath will only cause her to poop all over herself.

They are both so sensitive to noise, change, any variation of their routine will send Magoo hiding so efficiently it can take days to find him, and she will send poop flying everywhere.I don’t want to take her back to the vet where she developed this behavior. She has done this since she returned which is why I know she isn’t ill. They don’t go outside, they don’t even want to go outside. I never have to worry about them rushing the door when I am carrying groceries in or doing other things. They are the only cats in the house right now.

In the morning, I am going into town to a shop that carries the Bach Flower Remedies and see what Gloria might recommend to calm this situation down. I’ve had enough cats in my care to know that if she did have a bacterial infection or some sort of parasite, my floors would be covered in poop and pee. She uses the litter pans and only presents the flying feces when she feels stressed. It’s why they both were returned a month after they were adopted out. The family could not deal with the fact that they are not “normal” kitties.

They will be here till the end, or they will be the end of me! LOL I am not sure what will come first. I just keep trying things, but even the simple act of picking her up to pet her can become a stinky situation. I will not give up on them, I just had to vent. Now that is 4 a.m I will go outside and feed early and try to catch a nap before the sun comes up.

People sometimes ask me why I take the high-risk rescues, this is why,  because I never give up until I absolutely have to. Look at this beauty- would you give up on her?

Earlier this morning I put an empty cardboard box at the head of the stairs. It holds a portion of my Christmas decorations so it’s a long flat cardboard box. I haven’t taken my outside decorations down yet. I planned on doing that this weekend. About an hour later I hear this really strange sliding noise coming from the stairs. I had no idea.

Imagine my surprise when I saw at the foot of the stairs, Ashley, she was sitting inside the box. She didn’t look anxious or upset. I surmised  what happened was she jumped inside the box  since half the box was sitting on the landing and the rest was hanging over the stairs, the weight of this kitty caused the box to tip downwards, toboggan down the stairs to the bottom. She was not hurt, nor was the box damaged. I think she liked the ride though. Perhaps she is enjoying her own sense of the Olympics? Silly kitty

They just arrived this morning to pump out my septic. It has not been done in a very long time. Before they started they had to warn me that they’re running into something quite unexpected when they’re pumping tanks right now. There has been so much rain coming down. They are finding that as they pump out the tanks and mine is 1000 gallons, the tanks are actually breaking free and floating above the bracing because of all the water! I am praying that doesn’t happen because that means that I would have no septic on my property that was working. He did say that they’ve figured out that after they’re done if the tank is floating. I have to come in the house and run a bunch of water back into the tank  to hopefully submerge it back to where it belongs. He said he just had to warn me that this was a possibility. Let’s hope it’s a possibility that doesn’t happen.

The cats have all scrambled once he set up his truck in the front and started the job. Most of the cats right now are in the Haybarn on the rafters. I guess that’s where they feel the safest. I certainly hope that my tank stays grounded. I hope it doesn’t decide to just float away and join the navy.

Well the job is over and it went well. My septic tank did not decide to float down the highway. It stayed firmly in place and all is well. But I have to admit I was a little bit fearful after they told me everything that could happen. I’m just glad nothing did