multiple piles of sick greet me every morning. cats are splayed out on couches, chairs, cat posts and tables not willing to move. snow is falling outside but they can’t be bothered to join in a game of chase the snowflakes on the window. at night, sleep is broken as cats get sick and i scramble up out of the fog of sleep to take care of the mess before one of us steps on it with bare feet. no, sickness is not pretty nor that cheerful to write about.

it takes a good 45 minutes to medicate everyone. neuter appointments have been cancelled because i am not going to compromise the kittens further by subjecting them to the stress of an elective surgery. i still have no answer as to what i am facing here. the cats are still actively hungry, some can keep their food down others sacrifice it to the gods of the carpet or tiles.

last night the vet called inquiring about charlie. the lab results aren’t back yet (typical) so she had nothing to add about what this might be. later on, i doused the lights and turned on the black light. i was sorry i did. i cleaned up all the stains i could find.

this must be what it is like when you have young children who can’t communicate but they just feel bad. when medicines given, are iffy at best and prayers are the only support holding you together. when worry gives way to screaming at loved ones, not because you no longer love, but because you love to much and they are an easy target for your stress.

food has been tossed out, replaced without much effect. well water has been taken in to be analyzed; i even emailed the litter company asking them if they changed their formula. it’s worth a shot, even it’s a long-shot. they haven’t answered me though. probably think i am some sort of mental case.

i feel like chicken little and the sky is falling. only this time, the sky (or the roof) is really falling. part of the bedroom ceiling that collapsed recently is still leaking. the roofers came out yesterday (finally) to give us an estimate. the highest bid, $5,000.00 the lowest just under $3,000.00 either way; they will be taking up part of the roof, putting a bit of a pitch in it so that the flat part is gone. apparently it is leaking where the joints come together. when it rains it pours, no pun intended.

i am not unhappy, it could be so much worse. kitties could be worse off, and the whole roof could have collapsed. according to one roofer, he is surprised it didn’t what with all the rain. i am just exhausted and out of ideas as to help this group. whatever is wrong will just have to run its course. i just hope they all come out healthy in the end.

charlie’s eye is swollen this morning. i am not sure why, suspect one of the older cats must have scratched him. i put some ointment in it, but he hates that so much. i had to do it four times a day when he first arrived here and he grew to dislike anything near his face or eyes. the cloudiness that exists there now is the scarring of the ulcer and will be there for life.

i have a couple articles i still need to finish, but until this swelling goes down on my finger, upper case is still a challenge.

all meds given for the night. i pray it is a quiet one.