This week has been one of emotional turmoil and re-discovery. To many events in just a matter of days has turned my heart upside down. It is as if I have lived a month in only a few days.
I worry a lot. I always have. I suspect because of feeling I will never live up to what certain people expect of me. I worry about Mike, I worry about the cats, I worry about stuff I shouldn’t even concern myself about. What I need to concern myself about is my relationship with God. In a book I am reading there is a simple quote at the front- “To me, Faith means not worrying.” John Dewy an American Philosopher said this in 1952.
So it is back to basics. Back to the core belief that Someone Higher is in charge of my life even if it seems to be in tatters at the moment. It is the beginning of a big step of faith for me as I leave a job I am no longer comfortable with and seek something else- whatever is next.
I was talking to an author friend of mine last night. This woman is amazing. She pumps out books by the dozens. I asked her how she does it? I told her I am doubting my work, wondering if there is any value in what I am writing here- doubting my ability to deliver a guidebook for people wanting to take stray cats into their home. She told me “This is my mantra- write first, doubt later.”
So that is the mantra I now pick up. Continuing on even in the face of rejection. After all, JK Rowling was rejected by twelve publishing houses before she got published. Not that I have a Harry Potter gem in my future, but I believe that what I am offering is important to the cats left stranded out in the streets and the people unsure of what to do about them.
So it is onward and upward on bended knee with a renewed faith in God that propels me forward. I will be scared at times, and probably doubting myself to a certain extent because old habits are hard to break. But I hope that in the end, the results will be positive and my worry factor can be placed on hold permanently.
I wish you many blessings on your new journey. Thank you for what you do for the kitties and for taking us along on the ride!
Yes, thank you for everything you do for all the felines in your community. I can’t imagine how hard this is on you emotionally and physically.
One thing I started doing a while ago when I was worried about something that I really had no control over (work, or a beloved cat’s or person’s health), I would give the worry to God and tell him it is in his hands now. Then, every time that same worry would start working its way into my head, I’d stop it dead in its tracks and say to myself “it’s in God’s hands now” and think of something pleasant. It has really help calm me down.
I admire your leap of faith MA. You will be rewarded for your selfless heart. Thank you for being a hero to so many emotionally and physically wounded kitties – who without you may never know what love is. – MeezerMomMary
Good luck on your new journey, i hope that things work out well for you, you deserve it.
I had fallen behind on your blog (too many distractions) and am now just catching up. You are amazing at what you do. You have so much knowledge to offer to people who want to get involved but don’t know what to do. When I got my first 3 bottle babies (maybe a week old), I made a huge mistake by feeding them before trying to get them warm. They hadn’t eaten the whole day so I thought they were starving and I figured food was the most important thing they needed. Two didn’t make it and that was a hard lesson to learn. I fortunately found your kitten-rescue website and anytime I had questions or problems came up, there I was staring at the screen trying to soak up every detail on raising kittens. When I moved to fostering ferals, I found your blog and tried your tricks and learned what goes on inside their minds and why they do what they do. When I first got involved in rescue work, I hated ferals because I just thought they were mean angry cats who hissed for no reason (yes I was horribly naive) but now they are my absolute favorites! My heart aches for ever picture I see of a terrified cat or kitten crouched in the back of a cage at some shelter or rescue because I know most of them don’t have a chance. (I own 4 ferals (two were from TNR) and I adore them) I laughed when you wrote about the kitten that jumped and ptfff! at you. I had a litter of kittens that did the same thing and they all ended up socialized and adopted. I hope you are able to finish your book and that a publisher appreciates the need for it. Thank you for guiding me along the way! Good luck!