Today is New Year’s Day. It is also Kota’s Sixth birthday, a day that enters him into the first part of his senior years. I honestly had pause these last two years that he would even make it this far. He is doing quite good. He is not on any type of drug to get him through his day. He is not excessively shedding, the seizures are gone. There is no more gulping of grass along with daily vomiting. His persistent eye infection (that they could never seem to  clear up) has disappeared. It went away virtually overnight after I took him off of all commercial canned dog food.

When it came to the seizures, it wasn’t the vet or the drugs he gave that stopped them. It was a friend of mine back East. She sent me an article from Natural Dog. The article explained  how some larger-breed dogs are extremely sensitive to exposure to electronic equipment. This exposure, the author explained can bring on seizures!

As I read the article, it was clear to me that his couch (which faced at one time the television) needed to be moved. I moved it to the other end of the living room and about a week later, his seizures just quit. They have never returned. I still do keep the television on during the day just for the noise factor  Michael was quite the talker and storyteller and after he left, the silence sometimes overwhelmed me.

Yesterday morning, when I got up. I saw Laurel. She was asleep on the couch in the cat room. Well…I thought she was asleep. When she didn’t come to the third food call in the afternoon, I went to check on her and discovered that she was gone. She had passed sometime in the night. I know this because I do 25 minutes of interactive play with all the cats right before I go to bed. She had been telling me for about a week that she wasn’t right. I was listening, I tried to get her help, but I was too late.

It’s strangely, quiet in the house now. Aspen is missing her sister. She must have discovered that her sister had gone on to a better place. I don’t see any open grieving in her. She is eating, she is drinking. But she is also trying to find me  during the day and be with me. I know from past departures, that if the resident kitties get a chance to say their own goodbyes, the grief is still here, but it’s not as devastating for them. I don’t know if Aspen was with Laurel when she passed away. (They often slept together in the night). I would bet she was close knowing this to be her last time with Laurel. Based on how she’s acting, I know she had her chance to say a final goodbye. It also will explain why at 2 AM I was awoken by Aspen, sitting out in the hallway in front of the bedroom, and she was meowing very pitifully. I got up and picked her up to comfort her. But the meowing continued. I put food out, checked the water, bowls. In retrospect, I know, she was telling me In the only way she could, that her sister was gone.

I couldn’t bury Laurel, the rain, and the mud prevented that. I have a good friend that lives up the mountain and I called her. We took a walk in the woods that are behind her house and on her property. We found a nice spot in the forest, covered Laurel with leaves and said a prayer. Essentially, we just gave her back to nature and to God. I am sure her and Michael are getting acquainted.

It is strange, how empty the house feels despite the presence of three animals and one human. But that’s the way grief works. It’s a process. A way for us to come to the realization that’s something. Precious is now missing. I believe we gave her a longer life than she would’ve had before she arrived here. At least that is my small comfort this morning.

Goodbye, Sweet Girl. I was blessed to have known you. I just wish it had been for a little bit longer.