I see him sneaking through the tall grass, my sleek, senior buddy. He vanishes from sight for a few moments, except for the tip of his quivering tail that hangs like an arrow above the long grasses.

When he emerges from the green sea, he gives out his customary chirp. I know he has once again scored a field mouse and his chirp is his signal to me that means “Grab a plate, Mom, I’m bringing home dinner!”

True to his word, he arrives moments later at the back door and deposits the mouse proudly at my feet. The mouse, I am sorry to say is now headless- for Riley like all true hunters of the feline persuasion will always claim the head first leaving the rest for later (or in this case, for me).

As the day grows long, the stack of trophies increases making footing slippy and treacherous until I have to spray off the stoop.

I understand his urgency. He realizes that winter is fast approaching and food needs to be stored. But beyond that, my 19 year old boy realizes that his days are also coming to an end and he wants to impress upon me that he still has the will to keep on going, even though his liver is malfunctioning and he has become incontinent, leaving his pee mail in the most inappropriate of places when he is indoors.

I stroke his back and notice more bald spots have appeared virtually overnight. The pain that leaks through the medicine prompts him to pull out his fur in frustration. His back is a jigsaw puzzle and his tail is almost bare. Nothing the vet has prescribed for him has stopped this self-mutulation, but for awhile a strong broad-based antibiotic stopped him from stripping away his fur.

I think back to the day he arrived here. Found high in one of our trees in the front yard, I had to climb up over sixteen feet just to bring him down to earth. I look at him and confess that I too, am feeling my age. I doubt I could climb that ol walnut tree six feet today, let alone sixteen feet. And though there are times when I want to pull out my gray hair by the roots- I leave the hairs alone, they are a reminder that I am also approaching the winter of my soul.