Yesterday, at 3:00 p.m. Huckles slipped away to meet Jesus. His battle for normal breath ceased. His lungs, full of liquid and putting enormous pressure on his tiny heart became weightless as he left us and became one of the brightest stars in the night sky. He took my heart with him when he left. All the challenges he faced, we faced together but his body was tired and it was time. It was actually past time and the angels called to him and he answered. It was over in a flash- and he was gone.

As rescuers, we do all we can to tend to the wee ones when they fall into our care. Sometimes, our best efforts are in vain- sometimes, they do make it.

I asked one of my dear friends, why she thought God always seemed to bring the most difficult of challenges before me when it comes to these just-borns. She replied” “Because in other hands, they would die.”

“Well, some die with me.” I countered to which she said, “Yes, some do, but they die better.”

He takes with him, a large part of my heart and I know he has met Mike and Jeremy and been reunited with Parker but it doesn’t make the grief hurt less,

This morning, I took Mini Moo and 21 Toes into the vet for their first visit. I had concerns with both kittens. Mini Moo’s rear end just looked misshapen and odd and she screamed bloody murder and would try to bite me every time I stimulated her. I could see a growth on the right side of her rectum and I was careful not to touch the area not knowing what it might be. Turns out, this little one has a hernia there- so instead of touching her rectum now to get her to poop, I will stimulate the tummy and hope that works instead. When she is old enough, they will do surgery on her- but for cripes sake, her eyes aren’t even opened yet!

With 21 Toes- the vet could give no reason why his stool looks like bile and why it smells so bad. But I had to wait in the lobby long enough (they worked me in) so I did feed them and as luck would have it, 21 left a sample of what I was talking about that I could show the vet. So I will continue with pre and probiotic powder and the benebac and hope it resolves soon.

I am exhausted beyond belief and the grief of recent losses cripples me, but I have two wee ones who need everything I know and all I can do to come out healthy on the other end. So I will continue, to do all I can to make that happen.