Mike is declining rapidly. He has been home three days and has 7 “events” (these happen only at night). All of his kids, his ex-wife, daughter in law are here and have been for two days. Goodbyes have been said, cleansing talks have occurred tears have shed and will continue to be shed for many days- but closure is happening for all. Yesterday, Mike and I had our final talk.
Also, yesterday, the Pastor and Social Worker from Hospice came to visit and the Pastor spoke with Mike and Nicolle, the social worker got me. We talked about everything under the sun, but since I have always had such excellent hearing, I could also pay attention to what was being said by Mike. Nicolle was also multi-listening and when the pastor said something to Mike, she would excuse herself from our conversation and dig in her briefcase for the appropriate paperwork and pass it off. This allowed me to pay more attention to what Mike was rambling on about. You know how he likes to talk!
The Pastor asked him to tell him about his wife and this is what he said: (I am still shaking my head)
“I am so proud of Mary Anne, did you know that she is the original builder of the Crystal Cathedral in Santa Ana, California? Her and Robert Schueller were best friends and after she finished building the cathedral, he was so enchanted by her artistic ability, that he set her up on the corner of the street outside to sell her homemade flowers, paintings and trinkets. Any money she made she put right back into the church!” (SOB)
Last night things went south quickly and Hospice is picking him up Monday to take him to their Hospice House. They have a room for him now, but they have ordered a special bed and it won’t be here till Monday. He is new on their service and they want to 24 hour assess him and see what happens. Everytime an event happens, I am on the phone with the 24-hr helpline and I think they want to see what is going on. I don’t think that after the week they plan on assessing him in that he will come home. I think he is ready to let go of this world and enter the next.
The bed arrived early- Mike will leave tonight at 7:00 his kids and ex-wife will leave tomorrow morning.
Love you all-
I wish for a peaceful passing for Mike, and that you will feel how much love and support there is for you. I am deeply sorry Mary Anne.
Pat, I am at such a loss. When transport came last night, I grabbed a bag (there were two by the door to travel with) The bag I grabbed were his toys- his IPAD, cell phone,flashlight etc.. The bag left behind, his robe, his insulin. Because he is at end of life Medicare will not pay for his insulin! They will cover everything else for him, but they consider Insulin a Life-giving drug so they stop all of that coverage! Thankfully, we have a lot of it here but I forgot it. I have to take it to him this morning and I have no gas money. None- I had to make so many trips to Corvallis Hospital in the last week that my gas budget broke in half. I forgot to ask the kids for help. I’ve been breaking down in the most unexpected places and now I have to scramble to find some money for gas so I can bring Mike comfort known as Insulin. I don’t know what I am going to do. I had seven people coming to our home, so I had to buy food and that took what I was saving for gas money away. And it turns out that when they got here- none of them even asked me for anything to eat or drink, they brought everything with them. They brought me food and I can’t even eat it.I’m ranbling and I am sorry. I just need $10.00 in gas. I’ve been married to him for 32 years and I don’t even have ten dollars in gas based largely on his spending habits once the diabetes invaded his brain.He;s left us so far into debt, I just pray I can get us out. I’m sorry I am not myself right now. I could use one of your warm hugs-
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have sent a donation to help get gas for your car, I hope that I did it correctly.
Thank you to those of you who reached out. I do have gas money now and I am so grateful. I was there this morning and learned that last night, he was given morphine and lorazepam not for coughing, but for anxiety. I can imagine he is anxious- but after being there with him for a few hours, I also know that he is a really good place. They are fussing over him like nobody’s business! LOL And I KNOW he is eating that up! He has his life-giving “forbidden by Medicare” insulin. So thank you again. I just woke up from a much-needed nap thinking it was later than it actually is. The kids are slowly coming home and slowly coming to terms with the fact that their father is not invincible. Truth is, none of us are. Thank you again for the gas money. Please, Forgive me for asking
I am sorry…I was off and away for most of the day, and this is the first I saw of your note. I am so glad to see you got some gas money (thank you to those who helped) and got over to see him. I am sending you that warm hug.
Sorry it is so late.
Blast, this is the first I am reading of this, Mary Anne. I apologise. This weekend was hectic. I will send a donation, since, though you have gas money, you may need some more soon.
I figured that Mike’s decline would come rapidly; it is, after all, what you predicted, that it would happen by the American Thanksgiving. But it sounds like he is in a place where, at last, the medical profession is actually caring about him. What a terrible time.
Awww Mary Anne so deeply saddened by what you and Mike are going through. I have sent a donation for whatever pops up. I’m sending warm hugs to you and continued prayers of strength for the days ahead. You are loved beyond measure. Take care of yourself.
I am holding you and Mike in my arms, and in my prayers.