After my experience this morning at the Diagonostic Labs, I feel just like a lab rat caught in a maze. Before I could surrender Panic over to them for testing, I had to recount every minute of the last moments of her life. I still cannot get away from the image of her lying on her side, gasping for air while her legs paddled wildly jerking in violent spasms. I had to say what she had to eat that day, when she pooped, did she pee? I felt once again like a criminal confessing to a crime.

If they can’t get enough of her brain matter to test, then they will do a necropsy to try and determine the cause of death. They requested half of the payment up front which I gave knowing full well another necessary bill won’t get paid this week now. Then they took her away and I will not get her back.

If the test on the brain is inconclusive, I will have to go through the rabies shot series and vaccinate every animal on my property against rabies, or lose them all. They will be seized and “humanely euthanized” and apparently this means all the animals not just the cats.

If I do vaccinate, I have to keep all the cats inside the house for 6 months- boy won’t that be fun? If I don’t comply, they will seize the animals and place them in quarantine and I will be slapped with a hefty boarding bill. Man, I swear, say the “R” word and men about you lose their heads.

I still don’t think this is rabies so I am praying that the tests come back negative and the cause of the seizures found. If not, I will have to find a way to raise the $592.00 needed for the rabies vaccine within the time frame alloted.

Mike is in the hospital and if I weren’t so dog-tired, I would write more. But all I want to do right now is find my soft pillow and go to sleep.