My Daddy is failing at least now they have him on a morphine drip every two hours. In the last few days, I have been asked by my oldest sister to come back and get Calico! I tried to bring her back with me three times and each time Mother prevented me from taking her. Now, I have been told to come and get her. I can’t afford another trip like that not even. Plus when I got home, the house and the husband was in such crisis. So now, once again I am the bad guy and everything going wrong is all my fault. I told Mike last night I am so tired of being this family’s punching bag. I just want it to end. Things are getting really ugly (because of the money involved) and I just want shut of the whole thing.
Calico will not be easy to place. She hates other cats, dogs, small kids, and she bites and scratches for no reason. I know one of my sisters will take her eventually. I told my mother when I left her home that I wouldn’t be back. And people wonder why I like cats over people? All I seem to be doing lately is crying and sleeping. I called the hospital last night because updates from my sisters have stopped. The nurse remembered me from my visits and told me “Your dad is in incredible pain.” I wish I could trade places with him. He does not deserve this!
So I keep trying to function. Write down things because now I can’t seem to remember my own name. ROscoe went in today to be neutered and I have to say I am so impressed by his future family. Intially, they wanted him right after his neuter (he is 7 weeks old now) but then they called back a few days after signing the adoption papers and told me that they want me to keep him until he is ready to be placed in a home! YAY! I love cat savvy adopters!
So I will keep him an additional month so the separation from the group won’t be so traumatic for him.
Please just ignore my earlier family venting. I just had to get it out of my system and I hope no one thinks less of me for airing dirty laundry in such a public arena.
Sorry there is so much upset going on. We know your dad’s condition is a stress for you without anything additional.
Vent away. It’s natural & normal in stressful times. Money & families, well, sigh! It may not help, but please know that very few families make it thru this transition without growling at each other. Time likes this, I grab the closest cat & give ‘em a hug. Always takes away the sting. Good thoughts.
I am praying that you can get through this with as little upset as possible, but unfortunately these kinds of events usually don’t go smoothly.
All the best to you. No worries about getting your feelings off your chest. You just have to and I am sure most readers understand that
All we readers say, “Get it off your chest; we will gladly let you vent.” No need to be sorry. Sometimes families act more like enemies at these times. Rest assured we are on your side. Offering prayers for you and your father too.
During a time of family crisis, stress, grief, anger, all sorts of feelings can escalate. Do not let this drive a permanent break in your ties to your family. Times like this are tough on everyone and not everyone handles it the best. I am sending a great big cyberhug your way and ordering you to go to bed early and surround yourself with your kitties and loving husband. You need a chance to be surrounded by love and understanding. {{{HUGS}}}
Don’t worry about what you wrote. Everyone has stories about family that they need to share, if only through frustration. Your problems are real and, unfortunately, not entirely solvable. I think you are doing your best. Just keep doing that.
Vent away, Mary Anne. If you can’t vent here, where can you?
A small suggestion, maybe. Next time the sisters calls you to collect Calico, ask them to collect her and bring her to you. Explain that you can’t afford the time or money or time away from home or husband for another futile trip. The only down side is they might just call the pound, instead. You would have to decide which is more likely.
If I thought for one minute that his cat would end up in the pound. I would beg or borrow the monies to go get her. Most likely, she will go to my middle sister although it means a 17 hour car ride to her home. She will be fine and my sister will keep her till the end of days. I was there, I tried to take her several times and was stopped each time. I don’t feel like I failed here. A wise friend sent me something she is writing and it spoke to me greatly. One statement in particular leaped out at me- What you tolerate, you teach. My family has been unkind to me my entire life- why should the end of my dad’s life mean they will treat me differently?I refuse to let them hurt me anymore and I appreciate all the words of encouragement and support sent here and also privately. I found my strength again when I thought I had really lost all of it.