We have been discussing the pros and cons of getting a Christmas tree this year.
Pros:
Oh the smell is heavenly (we would only get a live tree).
Helps to set the festive mood.
We get to go up into the attic and plow through years of memories looking for the Christmas boxes full of ornaments. I know I put them next to my old Sisterbelle doll and Tiny Tears…So where are they?
The tree would look wonderful in the corner currently occupied by two large-sized litter pans.
It would make money for the guy selling the Christmas trees (for $80.00)!
It will make money for WalMart because after we bought the tree, we would have to go into WalMart and buy ornaments, lights, garland, tree skirt and tree stand because we never did find where all those Christmas boxes were stored.
It would entertain the kitties in fine style as they discovered a real live tree in the living room! (Gee mom and dad, how did you do THAT)?
It would entertain us.
We wouldn’t need a tree-topper this year, because once the tree is put up, there would be a mad dash of auditions from Charlie, Trump, Baker, Livingston, Shimmer and Panic to be the first Reality Tree Star Topper.
My vet would be richer, because kitties would be sampling garland, knocking ornaments off the tree, test-tasting ribbons and bows. No offense Ben, but you received enough of my money this year.
The Cons-
If we go back to last year, ten minutes after the tree was up, even before it was decorated, it took a dive on my carpet and water soaked all the way through the corner. (Oliver had climbed to the top of the tree and it tipped over pretty quickly).
All that lovely tinsel is so pretty, and so deadly to kitties tummies.
$80.00 would buy an awful lot of cat food, or could be saved for next year’s vet bills.
I am out of prozac, so when the kittens decide to take the very first ornament Mike gave me on our first Christmas together (a woman fishing) and snatch it off the tree to bury it in the litter box, I might lose my charitable spirit temporarily.
Once the ornaments have been pawed off the branches, then the glass balls are fair game to Kodiak, who has a ball fetish anyway.
In a few days, the smell will go away, the needles will start to dry out and dry pine needles can easily puncture kitties stomach and cause other problems.
The tree will become a fire hazard and I won’t be able to stop the kittens from playing with all the fun pine needles falling off.
Setting up our musical lights will simply entice the kitties to play Tag among the branches looking for the source of all that lovely noise.
If we put up the Christmas train, then I would have to explain to the vet tech that I need to bring in my kitten because Santa just ran over his paw.
Once we have the tree up, we will be compelled to buy presents for each other, which we don’t have the monies for. Because who can have a Christmas tree without presents?
The smell of the new “intruder” is going to unleash a rash of the attack of the urinators as the kitties try and bring the house scent back to something they are comfortable with.
…on second thought, maybe we will just buy a door wreath.