I do not know this man lying in that hospital bed right now. Yesterday, there was an episode that occurred between him and I (or is it him and me?) They keep changing the rules! At any rate, afterwards, I had a long talk with this man and I told him that he does not have the luxury of belittling people and feeling sorry for himself. I told him I wasn’t going to put up with it any longer and I left. I went home and I had a nuclear meltdown on the floor of the living room. Poor Dex he was beside himself. He didn’t know what to do with this sobbing, howling woman lying on his floor. He kept jumping over me, pawing me, running in circles and whining. He knew something major was up. Every time I lifted my face, he was there trying to catch the tears.
I haven’t even cried since all this began. I have been near tears most of the time but the floodgates never released like this before.
Mike has got us so hosed up financially- I don’t even know where to start- and for him to turn ugly not only to the nurses who are only trying to help him but to me as well was to much to take.
Today, I need to go back to the facility and apologize to the administrator. Mike set me up and he lied (which blows me away) about what happened between him and the nurse who he said kicked his leg! He manipulated me, pushed the right buttons so I would go and complain so he couldn’t do physcial therapy that day! I got this poor lady in trouble because my husband doesn’t like Physical Therapy.
None of this rambling makes any sense to anyone but myself but to put more of what happened out here wouldn’t be right. Let’s just say I had a huge wake-up call yesterday. I told Mike I am this close to walking out on him and not looking back if he doesn’t straighten up. I told him he embarrased and hurt me deeply, confused his kids and he is not a nice person right now. I told him I don’t have to put up with this and I hoped he was proud of himself! His kids had already left in disgust.
The kids called later and took me to dinner and we had a long talk about so many issues. All this time, I had thought they didn’t even really like me, just thought I was a crazy cat lady who married their dad. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I just know I need to stay away from Mike for awhile. I do not know this man right now- and I want my husband back.
McKenna’s kittens have stopped eating- they won’t even take the drops I give them with the syringe. They fight and fight and cry and it is puzzling because at their age, they generally latch on to the bottle and won’t let go until it is drained. I keep trying but am afraid that something besides McKenna drying up is at play here.
I am sorry this is happening. Wish I was close enough to give you a hug. It can be so hard….Mike is suffering and alone but that is no excuse. And you are allowed to have a melt down. Being a caregiver can be so hard….. Check with the facility – they may have a support group that helps people in your situation so you have others to talk to. I am glad you have the support of his kids….that is HUGE.
As to the kittens – take a breath – no doubt they feel your stress as well. I have my fingers crossed for them and for you….
I wish things were better for you. Mike shouldn’t have manipulated you, but he’s probably very frightened now. That’s no excuse, though. he should know that he’s on your side – and not take advantage of it.
I agree with Random Felines: the kittens may be feeling your stress. I’m hoping things will improve for you quickly.
I’m sorry you are hurting so.. But it’s ok to cry, vent, scream whatever you need..in fact it’s healthy. Crying is good for the soul! Now I’m not going to excuse Mike’s behavior but he too has been throiugh a hell of a lot.. He’s not thinking clearly and he too might just be sick of being sick. I commend you for all that you do, but you do some time for yourself.. Do something nice for yourself. Be kind to yourself. It’s wonderful to know that Mike’s kids like you. You are loved more than you thought! I wish I didn’t live on the opposite coast but I am keeping you guys in my thoughts and prayers.
My prayers for you and your husband. I know all about what you are going through. My mother in law passed away Monday morning after battling pancreatic cancer for over 2 years. My husband who has a hard time believing in God has been having a hard time grasping the loss of his mother whom he loves deeply. He’s angry at the world now and there’s nothing I can do but continue to pray he finds strength and accept that she is in a better place free of pain and whole again. I have to agree about the babes feeling your stress. Hang in there and I will keep you both in my continued prayers.
Sounds tough. and it sounds like you are taking care of you, which is good. I keep praying for you both.
I cannot add more to what your wise friends have already said. I just wish there were some way we could all be there in person to lend support to see you through this. It is great to hear Mike’s kids are supportive of you – that is BIG. My prayers continue for you and Mike. (((hugs))))
Sending gentle headbuttttss to you. Sounds like you need a ‘Spa Day’ or something comparable — a ME Day of some sort, anyway.
Purrrrrrring that Mike figures out gaming his family is a no-win situation.