Someone in Italy who emailed me recently about a newborn kitten they found just let me know that the kitten had lost his life. Then, she told me that God must be mean for allowing her to accept a life to save and than taking it from her.

After thinking about it for a bit, I could not let the comment go unanswered….here is my reply…..

I need to respond to this email on many levels. First to all, God is not mean. You know that old saying, He will not give you more than you can handle? Sometimes, when we stop believing in ourselves in our abilities, in the gifts He has given us to share, He sends us a wake-up call. A tiny little kitten. A small beating heart that fits in the palm of our hand. He asks us- “Are you up to the challenge? Can you forget your desires, your wants? Can you put your life on hold for this tiny being I have sent to you? Are you brave enough to try?”

After the initial panic, the check to see that KMR is still stockpiled in the pantry, the bottles that were stored through last kitten season are pulled out and washed. A tiny bed of warmth is created for this kitten and our life stops all normalcy.

We stay up all hours, feeding, stimulating, cuddling, cooing, praying, worrying and watching. We wash endless bedding, stuff socks with Minute Rice, drink gallons of strong coffee, grab naps when we can, all the time praying that the planets are lined up, Karma is smiling and this little life will continue.

Sometimes, in the middle of it all, the life winks out. You are left crying, crushed, wondering what you did wrong, what could you do right, differently, what would have mattered?

But what matters has already been learned. The mistakes made, the right choices revealed, the time spent with the kitten, the time sharing of this tiny bit of love. It may be stored in a numb brain, but when the time is right, the details will surface again. You will share it either with another fragile life, new on the planet, or with someone who has found an orphaned kitten and wonders what to do next.

No, God is not mean. We just have to realize that the lessons He teaches are sometimes so deep, that in order to learn them, we have to travel through our own pain into a place of deeper understanding.

I wrote this email and sent it- and just hope she understands the importance of the single action- the fact that she cared enough to try.